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Wednesday 4 September 2013

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Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm / United States / Work

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

by thissinglelife / 09/06/2013 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

by PartTimePrincess / 09/10/2013 at 10:56am / United States / Money

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

by the next james herriot / 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

by smurftastic / 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

by Renagirl / 09/09/2013 at 8:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Alabama) / Love