Transportation: Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Janesville

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

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Out of it

Instadrama

Grow up

By Nora - United States - Fargo

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

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By snowlover - United States - Fremont

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

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By Ally - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I wrote a song for my boyfriend on paper. The first thing he did was correct my grammar. FML

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By c*nt - Canada - London

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for 2 months. FML

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By brokeandalone - United States

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

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By bummerdood - United States - Wichita

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

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By Noname - United States

Photoshopped

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

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By TheoBuckner - United States

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

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By lanu - United States

AAARGH

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

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By furbys69 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get frisky when the Furby Party Rocker all the way across the room started going off on its own and completely killed the mood. I took the batteries out of the little bastard immediately, but the mood was lost. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/1/2021 23:01

Eggs

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

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By AwkwardMoments

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

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By bitch i'm a gerontophile - Taiwan

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

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By alealovespurple - Canada

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

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By northernlass - United States

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

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By XxrudyxX - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

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By ohbiebjetaime - France

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

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By thanks, Nemo. - United States - Hayward

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

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By Max - United States

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

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By ChrisD2V - United States

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

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By Losamus

Nice first impression.

Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML

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By radioactiveglowinthedarkthing - United Kingdom

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

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By dukemisery - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML

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By Emily - United States

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

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By dontask - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

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By lone_ranger - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2020 13:32 - India - Vijayawada

Dreams Never End

Today, I finally convinced my mother to allow me pursue my dream job after months of begging. I logged in to the college's website to register for the course and found that the final seat had been filled in today and I need to wait one more year for admission. FML

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By BrakesNotBumpers - United States - Reading

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

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By violatedinden - United States

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon

Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

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By Emptyspace - United States

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

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By christmaswillneverend - United States - Red Lion

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

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Top comments

By nesteremily | 31

#6232513 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

I agree that is definitely FYL. On the bright side you didn't get hurt

By jaymartino86 | 10

#6232543 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:31

Heart broken or not he must've known that was the worst possible idea. Should have called in sick.

COMMENTS

By nesteremily | 31

#6232513 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

I agree that is definitely FYL. On the bright side you didn't get hurt

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#6232533 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:27

Am I the only one wondering why OP got in a car with a clearly drunk driver?

Reply

nesteremily | 31

#6232536 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:28

I agree with that..maybe they didn't realize until they were already in the car?

Reply

mukduk | 21

#6232541 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:30

I must be reading it a different way. OP didn't get in the car with their instructor. The instructor was late because he rear ended someone on the way to picking up OP.

Reply

NoMapToBuy | 14

#6232598 - Sunday 15 March 2015 6:34

I think op could be more empathetic

Reply

HairIsEverything | 15

#6232605 - Sunday 15 March 2015 6:46

Everyone please. It clearly states the instructor turned up late, meaning he actually made it there. OP probably hopped in so the instructor could drive to said test location, and he rear ended someone on the way. How in the hell could OP find out his instructors wife left him and he was drunk? He had to have been with him. I don't know who else would have given him that info, they wouldn't and couldn't. Boom! The end

Reply

slyde32 | 12

#6232653 - Sunday 15 March 2015 8:50

he drove drunk, the instructor should have rang op and told him the situation rather than get in the car pissed and drive to take him for his test. He could've killed someone, I don't think op needs to be more empathetic at all

Reply

slyde32 | 12

#6232655 - Sunday 15 March 2015 8:51

@32 by the instructor rocking up in a damaged car and apologising for being late while explaining the story is one possibility

Reply

Mightytall | 35

#6232682 - Sunday 15 March 2015 10:56

Op also learned a valuable lesson today.
Don't drink and drive!

Reply

Meettitan | 14

#6232906 - Sunday 15 March 2015 18:12

I wonder what #32's outlook on politics are, she can only see one side, its probably a nightmare.

By aseim9497 | 18

#6232514 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

That sucks, OP. Glad to hear you made it out safe though.

Reply

Norja | 33

#6232744 - Sunday 15 March 2015 12:50

The instructor at least owes OP a few free lessons before the new test.

Reply

chazzywazzy654 | 22

#6234196 - Monday 16 March 2015 20:06

I would be more inclined to find a new instructor and explain the situation rather than go with the same one who drove drunk.

By ironik69 | 31

#6232515 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

Chin up OP. At least he didn't try to blame the accident on you.

Reply

Norja | 33

#6232741 - Sunday 15 March 2015 12:48

Why would he?!

By lexiieeex3 | 32

#6232516 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

H

By nreed32 | 20

#6232517 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

I would say F his life maybe more than FYL...

By redraven88 | 16

#6232522 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

Its really an FML for your instructor. Hope he gets everything sorted out.

By Irwinfinity | 11

#6232525 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:23

Good thing no one got hurt.. well except for his now broken heart.

By lol_mar11 | 8

#6232529 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

Could have been worse! Glad you didn't get hurt. Still sucks tho FYL.

By Narayan96 | 13

#6232530 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

Hey that's better then some one getting seriously hurt

By euphoricness | 28

#6232532 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

I thought this would've been an FML because he hit your car lol