Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/3/2015 16:11 - United States - Janesville

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

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Abuse

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

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By popasquat - 4/12/2018 12:00

Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML

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By "daddyrobyn" - 18/12/2018 13:30

Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML

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By Maggie - 18/3/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

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By FarisH - 31/5/2010 09:15 - Jordan

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

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By anon - 21/4/2009 08:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

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By just socially awkward - 16/11/2018 12:00

Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML

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By what did i marry - 25/5/2018 12:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML

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By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2015 14:21 - Mexico

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

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By Jessica - 8/7/2011 00:58 - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

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By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 05:00

Captain Dumbass

Today, after my husband spent several days in his shed welding, he showed me his completed Captain America shield. It looked shit. I warned him not to throw it, but he threw it anyway, missed his target, bounced it off the garage and smashed the kitchen window, showering our kids in glass. FML

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By Jane - 22/12/2012 23:29 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2015 12:14

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

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By Dumbass - 10/1/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

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By aloneinaz - 15/1/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

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By Sheliton - 18/1/2012 01:39 - United States

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/9/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 15:40 - United States

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

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By peallow - 12/5/2013 05:01 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

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By Spa Catholic - 10/6/2015 12:00 - United States - Taunton

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

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By Ennui - 20/2/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2012 10:42 - United States

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

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By TheLemon - 17/2/2017 04:00 - Turkey - Aydin

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

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By campmom - 8/7/2009 05:02

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

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By xCZ75x - 13/6/2017 13:00 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my best friend on Snapchat is my mum. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

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By Nakdnathan - 16/9/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

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By poorman - 9/10/2009 23:22 - Canada

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/2/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 17:53 - Canada

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

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By orangethonglover - 17/7/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML

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By StaceZN - 22/12/2016 08:52

Today, on site, my client was certain she had switched off her electric fence prior to me conducting an inspection of her boundary retaining wall. I overbalanced on my ladder and grabbed at the fence wires for support. The electricity was not switched off. FML

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By ThisGirl - 21/8/2012 02:30 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

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By WeakBitch - 18/2/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2016 07:04 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I was buried in texts from two of my bridesmaids about how much they hated their dresses. Dresses they helped pick. I can either be a bridezilla, put up with this for 4 more months, or ruin two friendships. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/3/2019 22:00

Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML

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By why?! - 10/9/2011 01:57 - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

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Top comments

By nesteremily | 31

#6232513 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

I agree that is definitely FYL. On the bright side you didn't get hurt

By jaymartino86 | 10

#6232543 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:31

Heart broken or not he must've known that was the worst possible idea. Should have called in sick.

COMMENTS

By nesteremily | 31

#6232513 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

I agree that is definitely FYL. On the bright side you didn't get hurt

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#6232533 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:27

Am I the only one wondering why OP got in a car with a clearly drunk driver?

Reply

nesteremily | 31

#6232536 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:28

I agree with that..maybe they didn't realize until they were already in the car?

Reply

mukduk | 21

#6232541 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:30

I must be reading it a different way. OP didn't get in the car with their instructor. The instructor was late because he rear ended someone on the way to picking up OP.

Reply

NoMapToBuy | 14

#6232598 - Sunday 15 March 2015 6:34

I think op could be more empathetic

Reply

HairIsEverything | 15

#6232605 - Sunday 15 March 2015 6:46

Everyone please. It clearly states the instructor turned up late, meaning he actually made it there. OP probably hopped in so the instructor could drive to said test location, and he rear ended someone on the way. How in the hell could OP find out his instructors wife left him and he was drunk? He had to have been with him. I don't know who else would have given him that info, they wouldn't and couldn't. Boom! The end

Reply

slyde32 | 12

#6232653 - Sunday 15 March 2015 8:50

he drove drunk, the instructor should have rang op and told him the situation rather than get in the car pissed and drive to take him for his test. He could've killed someone, I don't think op needs to be more empathetic at all

Reply

slyde32 | 12

#6232655 - Sunday 15 March 2015 8:51

@32 by the instructor rocking up in a damaged car and apologising for being late while explaining the story is one possibility

Reply

Mightytall | 35

#6232682 - Sunday 15 March 2015 10:56

Op also learned a valuable lesson today.
Don't drink and drive!

Reply

Meettitan | 14

#6232906 - Sunday 15 March 2015 18:12

I wonder what #32's outlook on politics are, she can only see one side, its probably a nightmare.

By aseim9497 | 18

#6232514 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

That sucks, OP. Glad to hear you made it out safe though.

Reply

Norja | 33

#6232744 - Sunday 15 March 2015 12:50

The instructor at least owes OP a few free lessons before the new test.

Reply

chazzywazzy654 | 22

#6234196 - Monday 16 March 2015 20:06

I would be more inclined to find a new instructor and explain the situation rather than go with the same one who drove drunk.

By ironik69 | 31

#6232515 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:21

Chin up OP. At least he didn't try to blame the accident on you.

Reply

Norja | 33

#6232741 - Sunday 15 March 2015 12:48

Why would he?!

By lexiieeex3 | 32

#6232516 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

H

By nreed32 | 20

#6232517 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

I would say F his life maybe more than FYL...

By redraven88 | 16

#6232522 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:22

Its really an FML for your instructor. Hope he gets everything sorted out.

By Irwinfinity | 11

#6232525 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:23

Good thing no one got hurt.. well except for his now broken heart.

By lol_mar11 | 8

#6232529 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

Could have been worse! Glad you didn't get hurt. Still sucks tho FYL.

By Narayan96 | 13

#6232530 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

Hey that's better then some one getting seriously hurt

By euphoricness | 28

#6232532 - Sunday 15 March 2015 5:26

I thought this would've been an FML because he hit your car lol