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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49503) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49143) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (11994)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (6138)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48813) - you deserved it (4259)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48690) - you deserved it (7054)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (20412)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48130) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48061) - you deserved it (3037)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML



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