By whoops - 02/09/2016 14:49 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 611
You deserved it 6 140

#### Same thing different taste

I'm wondering how detailed you actually were. I mean, I'm nothing special, but I tend to include the standard, "I'll turn you π radians clockwise perpendicular to my **** before oscillating with a frequency of 144 thrusts per minute, attenuating at a rate of negative 4.8 thrusts per second near climax. Baby."

Always look at who you're texting.

Always look at who you're texting.

33

And before tapping the time clock

Hey you got a lesson out of it. Work, and then more work. By that I mean work hard, and then after that you can *work* hard.

Maybe you should work just as hard at work as you do in the bedroom.

YDI for not double checking who you were texting

I'm wondering how detailed you actually were. I mean, I'm nothing special, but I tend to include the standard, "I'll turn you π radians clockwise perpendicular to my **** before oscillating with a frequency of 144 thrusts per minute, attenuating at a rate of negative 4.8 thrusts per second near climax. Baby."

I wish I was smart enough to tell if this could be done or not...

Is it getting hot in here?

So take off all your clothes.

It's not too far off from being accurate. • If one was erect and somebody was laying in front of them, you'd probably want them to rotate around an axis /parallel/ to the **** instead of perpendicular. • Pi radians is equal to 180°, so they'd just be laying on their stomach. • 144 thrusts per minute is a little more than a couple thrusts per second. • Thrusting 4.8 less times per second means you'll have decelerated to a stop around thirty seconds (4.8*30=144) near climaxing.

Dude the fact that you went into that much detail upgraded you to my favourite person :)

There was a FML a little while ago (it's currently the second result if you search "envelope") on which I posted a comment. You told me then I was your favourite person, so how could you "upgrade" me now? Did you even remember me?! I… I thought what we had was special…

Oops, when you get to be my age, you start getting memory loss. Ill correct myself and state you are still my favourite person

28

It is ok. You can be my favorite person. I won't forget you.

I don't think thrusting over 2 times a second is possible but I'm no expert.

Oh, baby. Talk geometry and frequency to me.

You're better than Doc Bastard o.o

20

Holy ****, 2.4 thrusts per second would be mechanical

24

Better start working harder OP! And double checking who you are texting..