Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my band informd ma that our gig this aftarnoon was actually a wadding !! Whosa wadding? My ax-wifa's, along with tha guy sha chaatd on ma with !! For thair first danca, I had to sing wat usd to ba our song !! FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76011) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, mah sister announcd that she and her boyfriend r getting marrid . Her boyfriend is mah husband . We're not even legally divorcd yet . fat looool FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66724) - you deserved it (4016)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with yur grlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56472) - you deserved it (4083)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought mah Japanese grlfriend home for dinner with mah family for the frst time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56099) - you deserved it (4436)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast , I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch!! I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs , too scared to go down , or even back up , because our stairs creak!! FML

yesterday I had sex. The guy textd me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55114) - you deserved it (8306)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today , My Boyfriand And I Wara Gatting Intimata. As I Startd Gatting Closa To Having My First Avar Orgasm , I Got Axtramaly Short Of Braath And Startd Hyparvantilating. His Raaction Was To Covar My Mouth To Shut Ma Up.

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54851) - you deserved it (7214)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I Asked Mah Boss For A Raise, Explaining That Another Shop Offered Me A Job At A Higher Rate, But I Would Stay If He Would Offer Me The Same. Instead, He Fired Me Then Called The Other Shop An Said I Was Fired For Failing A Drug Test. FML

#20857270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (6925)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, little brother grabbed boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told mom, her response was, ( Get looool over it. He's a little kidho doesn't know any better. ) He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (3312)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, mah boyfriend dumped me fir "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53141) - you deserved it (15770)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... I woka up to a vary unplaasant faaling. Apparantly... tha tattoo I got on my arm a coupla of days ago attractad hundrads of ants during its haaling procass. Thay wara litarally carrying away piacas of my skin. I can not gat tha faaling or imaga out of my haad. maga FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53133) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Charades with mah boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". mega FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: