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Sunday 7 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (13800)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48241) - you deserved it (5532)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47917) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (5465)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47597) - you deserved it (3353)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47596) - you deserved it (4901)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46876) - you deserved it (13675)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (7951)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46477) - you deserved it (6189)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46403) - you deserved it (7991)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46284) - you deserved it (5033)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)



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