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Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

by firethorn / 06/20/2011 at 1:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 2:18am / United States / Transportation

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

by seriously / 12/17/2014 at 8:33am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

by ugh / 03/12/2010 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

by tired / 08/01/2011 at 4:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

by wtf bro / 05/20/2015 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2015 at 1:26pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

by seriously though / 02/22/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

by jons / 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

by K3you / 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

by LadyFahrenheit / 07/09/2013 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.