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Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45974) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (2910)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (2910)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2910)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (2909)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (2908)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (2908)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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