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Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (3054)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45791) - you deserved it (3054)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55230) - you deserved it (3053)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (3053)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (3053)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38654) - you deserved it (3053)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36024) - you deserved it (3053)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34720) - you deserved it (3053)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (3053)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)



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