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Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (3085)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (3085)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55848) - you deserved it (3084)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (3084)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

#17812513
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (3084)

On 09/23/2011 at 10:48am - work - by sick of life - United States (New York)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (3084)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39248) - you deserved it (3084)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59790) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)



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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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