By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 757
You deserved it 71 060

Same thing different taste

Top comments

panny10112326 1

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.


panny10112326 1

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

Oh god... Please not another argument on drugs. The last one had 170 replies and went on for a while...

OP, I feel bad for you! Karma got you! What goes around comes around, no?

Idonebeenhad 17

Brace yourselves, a flame war is coming.

Idonebeenhad 17

Brace yourselves, a flame war is coming.

DobiesJS2012 9

Didn't you know? FML has been mutated to the unofficial pity party website.

I bet this was on 4/21, National Random Drug Test Day :D

Drugs should be legalized and taxed. Drugs will always be around, no matter how many busts and arrests are made. No one will be forced to take them. Just like alcohol and tobacco, it could be Regulated and controlled. Not everyone that has instant access to tobacco and alcohol choose to use them. It is a personal choice. If the government had any sense, they would admit this and start making some extra tax, as well as providing consistent, safer drugs than what's currently on the street. Harm reduction is the best known solution to drugs. It reduces damage to society and greatly reduces the chance of an overdose or a bad batch.

Thank you 80 for saying that, now please, no one else post on this thread!!!

80 has the right idea as long as its safe drugs such as marijuana, not heroin or crack and shit like that.

Drugs won't make your life better just like cigarettes and alcohol , it will make you do stupid stuff and people will laugh at you and it will embarrass you In the end , DRUGS ARE BAD If you can't get it it will be one of two things either you are high or you are drunk

90, cigarettes don't make you 'do' stupid things. You've already 'done' the stupid thing, by starting up. But I half agree that drugs should be legal, and there should be a park you can do them at, a morning clean up of bodies of who over dosed, and it will even itself out. But then again, I already have to deal with stoned waitresses and waiters, cashiers, bank clerks... I really don't want to deal with it more Often than I do.

jab7769 8

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
jab7769 8

And for the people who thumb my comment down my grandfather died of emphysema after smoking 59 years and my aunt of a car accident after some kids got high and wanted to drive and my uncle who drank himself to death because he couldn't deal with the lose of his wife. So if you are that incentive to the other people in the world and need your drugs f*** you

97%??? So the millions who die in wars don't count? People who die in third world countries before the age of 5 don't count?? Freak accidents don't count???....I'm not taking a stance on this but 97% is absolute bs

jab7769 8

I'm talking today stats most wars today are about drugs look at all the law enforcement and fed broader patrol agents losing there lives in Mexico cause the war on drugs. How many police officers die raiding meth labs and other places. Not to mention the people police end up killing in self def because the people didn't want to go to jail. I'm saying if you look at every situation no things happen people don't look walk in front of a bus but it is more likely someone will die because of drugs. And I said all drugs that includes alcohol look up the drunk driving stats

Idonebeenhad 17

Sirin, can we please not have any drug-related FML's for a while? It seems like the community will rip each other to shreds

Jab7769 - While I agree with your sentiment, your statistic is completely fabricated. The leading killer in the world is heart disease, and that has nothing to do with drugs, illegal or otherwise. The next biggest cause of death worldwide is infections. These two alone account for about 65% of all deaths. You can argue that smoking leads to heart disease, but most people with heart disease do not smoke. And alcohol actually improves heart disease. Your heart is in the right place, but your math is all wrong, my friend.

Idonebeenhad 17

Well at least it wasn't as bad as the other one..

Sevrandy - You're absolutely right! Pots hold water and allow us to boil pasta, make sauces, grow flowers, whatever you want!

148, I don't have to waste my time looking up the effects of pot. It kills brain cells, screws your memory up, makes you slow and many other things. Yes it does help ease pain with such things like cancer. But long term use does in fact make you a complete moron. My father (whom I very much hate, for many reason including drinking and smoking pot and neglecting his duties as a parent as I grew up) smokes it and has for around 45 years, he is the person who showed me first hand how bad it is on your long and short term memory, over time it also can make you aggressive- as odd as that may sound. So no, pot is not 'OK' ..

pablopoo 7

I agree pot has never killed anyone and if it has its usauly because of the person not the pot the person is the problem

101- it sounds like his life is being ****** up because of the policies, not because of what 'drug' he takes. Moderation is a magical word that lets us reasonably enjoy many things in life.

You guys are ******* stupid, holy shit. What has the school system been teaching you guys about drugs?

180 - my thoughts exactly, Jesus Christ the ignorance in here is stifling -_-

163-not only does pot ease the effects of pain but thc actively fights cancer cells and slows the growth rate of tumors, you only think pot makes you stupid because the majority of the people who are open about it are complete and total morons but many intelligent people smoke weed. Recent studies have shown that marijuana may increase neuron activity in people, many people who start at a young age are not the brightest because your brain is still developing smoking daily leaves permanents effects and if you get high it's hard to pay attention in class but there's nothing wrong with it on occasions or weekends once you graduate.

wolfshadow 4

168, my dad has been smoking since he was 16, and he is still in tip top shape, mentally and physically. On to my comment-- I smoke, and I get good grades in advanced placement courses. I don't give up on everything I'm doing, I just think about what I do. I don't intend to ever drive or be driven when I'm stoned. It may affect your choices, but I believe the "smarter" you are, the less likely you're going to make a bad choice. Common sense above the influence affects common sense under the influence. Weed isn't physically addictive- though it can become mentally addictive if you start to think about it a lot. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with smoking, because I keep up with my cardio and mentality. Also, it being a plant that grew from the earth, it's natural. Drugs such as Meth or cigarettes, are made from unnatural sources, or have additives. Smoking anything affects your lungs, some just wreck your lungs more. Tl;dr, No one gives a **** about your opinion. If you don't like something stop being a **** about it and suck it up. Unless you're the boss, you're always the bitch.

Lol 202 read your tl:dr and then abide by what you want other people to abide by you hypocritical dipshit.

wolfshadow 4

203, it's not hypocritical dipshit, I just want people to shut up about how drugs are bad. It's the Internet, so no one cares. All I want is to read funny comments, like in every other FML.

Drugs can make a person a little neurotic, among other things, but its the type of person that does it. Just because someone does drugs doesn't make them a bad person. It's what they decide to do while on them. I do not do drugs, nor have I ever. But those who do aren't bad people for doing them, it's based on their decisions and actions made while on the drugs.

Haha wolfshadow I can't thumbs up your comment because it's too long

curlyfry33 8

209 - I had the same problem...but I couldent thumb it down :3 Their fliping out about how people on the internet shouldent say that things are right or wrong... While she is telling people what she thinks is right, so yes, they are being a hypocrite.

Honestly everybody I think that everyone here is partly correct. Weed Is OKAY for you. Drugs are mostly bad for you. The government would make billions and billions of dollars selling their own legalized versions of drugs. And finally people need to grow up and respect others opinions wether they believe them I be wrong or right.

96- if you are worried about your health then don't do them. It's not worrying about a persons personal fix when the entire world takes some type of drug anyways. Just sayin here: say you had surgery and are takin pain killers , that doesn't mean that they aren't considered a drug just because there prescribed, there still a scheduled drug. People take drugs to a whole different level , and that's why there are so many fatalities from them. If they would learn to get their fix at home nothing bad would happen. It's the junkies that give drugs a bad rap. Not hatin just statin. Btw I dnt use...

212 - are you referring to the possession of someone's stupidity? If not, you may want to look over what you typed out and consider revising

Completely legalizing drugs and taxing them would not be a good idea. It's not about a bad batch it's about the fact drugs are harmful and unnecessary (with the exception of medical witch is another story) if people want to do drugs okay but they can mess you up all if them bad batch or not.

And servandy.. Pot can cause tooth decay and schizophrenia

nc1234 2

Wow all u queers who are saying pot is bad!! And shit like that, rip a bowl then come talk here

I've notice most of you guys dont know anything about drugs and yet you feel compelled to comment and thumb other peoples about drugs

Marijuana doesn't kill brain cells, who the dumbass is that is claiming to know that it does needs to do research and not talk out of his ass. It has been proven in a few studies that it has NO long term effect on brain cells. Look up the Morgan and Zimmer experiments and the rheseus monkey experiments. Btw it is IMPOSSIBLE to OD on weed or even really get killed directly from marijuana. (unlike alcohol). It is possible to be indirectly killed by marijuana but anything can indirectly kill you really. (cue the thumbs down from the goody goody dumbasses who act like they know everything but don't know shit in 3,2,1)

In a way it does, smoking it deprives the brain of oxygen and that kills brain cells, also smoke in all forms is a toxin but marijuana itself does not kill braincells.

deransc 19
Link5794 18

I love how there were the "prepare for the drug debate" comments and yet the drug debate STILL happens. Why are people so compelled to share exactly what they think? Unless you know something that could really change someone's opinion, if you disagree with someone, keep it to yourself.

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.

Yea OP had to have been high to come up with this idea and think it would work. You don't use another persons pee or pay for it. It's called STOP taking the drugs a month or two beforehand ya moron!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't come up with stupid ideas when I'm high. I still have rational thought. So if you think everyone acts like a tard when they're high, you're wrong. It's like miracle whip, you don't know unless you try it!

#88- I couldn't agree more. I smoke everyday and it doesn't really alter my thought process, it just makes me smile. No one is forcing anyone to smoke either and the only people who are flaming it are miss informed tweens.

TheDrifter 23

88, 94, you're a little off. Those brilliant stoned ideas you have only seem brilliant and rational because you're stoned.

Because putting someone else down is a great way to show your intelligence. Not everyone gets high like you see on the movies, enough stereotyping before this "dumb stoner" makes you look real dumb.

94- if you smoke every day how would you know it wasn't effecting your thought process?

Meettitan - OH OH OH Do me next! Make me look dumb next! I'm not a "miss informed tween" (that should be "misinformed", by the way), yet I flame the shit out of it. Hit me with your best shot.

No, Doc you're not a misinformed ( yes I miaslpelled that) tween, but you're just as stereotypical. We've already had this argument, I just want the people who can consume it responsibly to not be in the same category as the stupid middle schoolers who get high and then do something outrageous. I'm jumping off this thread before it gets closed. That is all.

It's possible OP didn't fail because of dirty urine. Using someone else's pee that is obviously not body temperature would alert the tester of a sample that has been tampered with, thus resulting in an automatic fail. What sucks about drug testing is it's easy to pass if you use drugs that are out of your system in a few days. So a lot of pot smokers get caught whereas coke heads just have to abstain for a few days.

Also, I'm gonna suggest watching Super High Me. Great documentary, this guy's psychic ability increased with marijuana use.

52-Right because they give you that much notice in could just not do them at all?

Actually depends on the situation. Have you never planned to apply for a job that drug tests? If you have drugs in your system you're going to have to wait till it all flushes out before you apply. If it's for legal issues, then they shouldn't have drugs in their body in the first place.

Stop doing drugs and maybe you will pass it...smh

outch_fml 0

Why is everyone on FML sweet little angels?

@95: Didn't you get the memo? Every single FML poster except the OP is a supermodel who's never done drugs, never done anything bad or made a single mistake in their entire lives.

Krulin - Let me guess, you're one of those "He who is without sin shall cast the first stone" types, right? **** off with your holier-than-thou bullshit. Just because I'm not perfect doesn't mean I can't call OP a moron for acting like a moron.

rotcgirl101 7

I'm not saying I'm perfect or ever not done anything wrong but I'm pretty sure I've never drank, smoked, or done drugs.

koolkat27 13

95- Having common sense doesn't make you a "perfect little angel".

I thought 119 was making a little joke about internet anonymity, and how everyone can be whatever they say they are on the internet. 119's comment wasn't even an argument against anyone, just replying to 95. Then again, I do like giving people the benefit of the doubt.

KatrinaKitten 16

Facing the consequences for someone else's actions. Nice. Ask for a redo?

Writing a comment and completely missing the point of the FML. Nice. Ask for a redo?

24- nice picture for a gay ******* ********

Just so I have this straight: 1) You use drugs 2) You use drugs despite having/applying for a job that requires drug testing 3) You decided to cheat on the drug test instead of not using drugs 4) You're so ******* stupid that you used the urine of a friend who also uses drugs Do I have that about right? Is there anything redeeming about this at all? Anything I'm missing here, genius?

Yes you missed the fact that OP decided it would be a good idea to post an FML about it.

He shouldn't be allowed to reproduce and contaminate this world.

Just one thing Doc: He even _paid good money_ for the urine of someone who uses drugs. For a drug test. Now if you know you are going to fail then you might beg a sample from anyone else, knowing that the result would have been a fail anyway, so what the hell. Nothing to lose. If you're going to go so far as to actually pay for a sample then you might want to ask a few subtle questions of the donor, like, I-don't-know, maybe: Do you do drugs?

Sit home on welfare , no drug tests and free money . It's a win win .

jasmine1259 2

Well obviously you aren't in it, 50. gtfo.

^Yep. DocBastard is so famous here, that people who enjoy his comments formed a Fan Club to stalk him during private moments of his life.

As always, Docs perspective is just right!

58- Shhhh. The stalking on FML and his blog is known but not the private life stuff. Doc doesn't know we finally found out where he lives.

Oh he's going to miss seeing you in the trauma center

Only true losers take advantage of welfare, leave it for the people in real need. People like you should have permanent vasectomy's

Should've read what you wrote before I commented, Doc. Now my comment is extraneous, and, I didn't word it anywhere near as well as you!

No. Think you got that nailed. I don't think this one is a FML at all. It's just evidence for being in the shallow end of the gene pool when it comes to reasoning... Possibly from drug use.

dr. you will probably see him in your ER soon. sadly, it's only a matter of time.

If you know that you had drug test why would you smoke? You are a dumbass YDI.

Takes a very long time, months for pot to clear out of your system. Somehow I doubt they could hold out that long!

kittenvks 11

It doesn't say he was smoking anything

It does not take months for pot to get out of your system idiot. I'm not condoning what OP did I just can't stand when people make uneducated remarks.

It depends on you body fat and metabolism, so yes it is possible for pot to stay in your system for months. Or it could just stay in your system for two weeks.

jjames7543 13

Looks like your money was well spent, idiot...

katcot99 11

Wow, YDI, cheaters never win.