By "princessmia" - United States - Sequim

Felt so bad

Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1085

You deserved it

2255

Tweet

Share

Triage

Don't you know that you're toxic?

Ant life

By Daddy - United States - Hialeah

Today, I discovered an effective form of body hair removal. I discovered that my three-year-old daughter is strong enough to pull off a major clump of my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13531

You deserved it

1206

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks

109992

You deserved it

17553

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks

73122

You deserved it

8238

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36840

You deserved it

5744

Tweet

Share

By missmirror - United Kingdom

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36569

You deserved it

4996

Tweet

Share

By minime94 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31773

You deserved it

2489

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bloomfield

Are you OK?

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15777

You deserved it

1561

Tweet

Share

By Samantha35

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turn around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2503

You deserved it

261

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48896

You deserved it

4328

Tweet

Share

By princess - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48418

You deserved it

7129

Tweet

Share

By ToobyFrank - United States

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23023

You deserved it

68022

Tweet

Share

By Khagen - 27/1/2021 05:01

Supportive

Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

584

You deserved it

86

Tweet

Share

By explanations - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80483

You deserved it

7919

Tweet

Share

By Awkward - United States

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37730

You deserved it

4285

Tweet

Share

By thanks guys

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2654

You deserved it

161

Tweet

Share

By Crumpet - Canada

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54904

You deserved it

5272

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Glasgow

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40104

You deserved it

3837

Tweet

Share

By Quicky5_ - United States - Jasper

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31064

You deserved it

2471

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Victoria

Today, I received a phone call from my boss, from the other side of the country. It seems the conference I sent him to is actually happening next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20017

You deserved it

6983

Tweet

Share

By singledumbfuck - 22/3/2020 03:30

Eternally romantic

Today, my boyfriend proposed via text, after telling me that he'd slept with his step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2304

You deserved it

152

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35511

You deserved it

19767

Tweet

Share

By oh well - United States - Hesperia

Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2672

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By Username - Japan

Today, I quit my job and sent a mass mail on Facebook that I was moving to a different state with my long time boyfriend. He called me later that night to tell me we aren't moving after all. Now we are both jobless with loads of bills to pay by the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32647

You deserved it

23008

Tweet

Share

By Bunni - Australia

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14787

You deserved it

30015

Tweet

Share

By fuckmyliiiiiiife - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44342

You deserved it

25895

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31441

You deserved it

2536

Tweet

Share

By Imnotfromhere - 13/2/2021 05:01

Great mom you got there

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1515

You deserved it

117

Tweet

Share

By frustrated - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48257

You deserved it

4786

Tweet

Share

By LoveSucks

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1738

You deserved it

142

Tweet

Share

By Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29648

You deserved it

2945

Tweet

Share

By FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30889

You deserved it

55785

Tweet

Share

By Mary - France

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31155

You deserved it

4325

Tweet

Share

By failhusband - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29088

You deserved it

72871

Tweet

Share

By whyme - United States

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23657

You deserved it

2101

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/11/2020 21:32 - India

Knock next time please

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

782

You deserved it

624

Tweet

Share

By princess4242 - India

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13911

You deserved it

24184

Tweet

Share

By bruh

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2448

You deserved it

182

Tweet

Share

By Thefaller

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1358

You deserved it

807

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/11/2020 17:01 - Canada

Slow down

Today, after months of ultrasounds and blood tests, I found out that the pain I've been feeling in my ovaries is actually just sore muscles from flicking my bean every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

521

You deserved it

875

Tweet

Share

By Eric

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34516

You deserved it

2882

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 29

#7866910 - Saturday 14 December 2019 9:02

Things will be fine until "Mom" goes shopping and leaves you alone with "Step-Dad."

There are many documentary films showing this turns out badly. You can find them on PornHub.

By tabby cat tidbit | 9

#7866966 - Saturday 14 December 2019 14:38

no way little bro did that 'one' pic by accident it out of all the others. Either he did it on purpose, you did it, or you're full of shit

COMMENTS

By weazle | 13

#7866893 - Saturday 14 December 2019 7:12

Fakeeeeeee

By RichardPencil | 29

#7866910 - Saturday 14 December 2019 9:02

Things will be fine until "Mom" goes shopping and leaves you alone with "Step-Dad."

There are many documentary films showing this turns out badly. You can find them on PornHub.

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7866912 - Saturday 14 December 2019 9:07

ydi for having nudes available to send so easily. use the 'hide album' option.

By cheesebond | 29

#7866950 - Saturday 14 December 2019 11:47

Use the app called keepsafe for when you let him use ur phone or on iPhone use guided access

By tabby cat tidbit | 9

#7866966 - Saturday 14 December 2019 14:38

no way little bro did that 'one' pic by accident it out of all the others. Either he did it on purpose, you did it, or you're full of shit

By Sinshine | 27

#7866991 - Saturday 14 December 2019 19:41

And you expect us to believe you just hand your little brother a phone with easily accessible nude pictures of yourself?

By 1gullible_bugger | 33

#7871789 - Friday 3 January 2020 17:09

Never store those on your phone!