Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (4310)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (34507)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41217) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16714) - you deserved it (38018)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38718) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37794) - you deserved it (9969)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

#20891026
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:45am - money - by collegebroke (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (2696)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (6729)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (2589)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: