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Thursday 3 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (2181)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (2557)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (6977)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (9836)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8549) - you deserved it (30263)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (1149)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you deserved it (1276)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (4902)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States



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