By UHM - 06/10/2013 21:54 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 260
You deserved it 4 013

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Beepbeep7 14
Gearden 8

I think his mom is a bit ovary protective.


Thank you mom! Uncomfortable a little lol

Nope not at all... Typical Tuesday afternoon for me

blackbeltpsycho 16

Why would I need to spell "Awkward" when you just did it for me?

Gingerette 8

Why do people still write these comments?

#17, because no one tries to make better puns/comments. Instead they're just like you, questioning the pun instead of trying to do better. (: or at least just thumb it down and move on.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Some puns will never be retired, they're definitely not funny anymore, but they're classics. I'd prefer seeing a stupid pun as a comment rather than some new stupid ass Internet trend. I'm glad us fmlers share a common goal in eliminating the hash tag comments! Hell, I haven't seen one of those in months. Then that "plot twist" bullshit ran rampant for a day or so, and again, we had none of that. Stay classy, fml.

don't use fake insults. also, don't try to learn things on Nickelodeon.

suboy 10

I havent seen any FMLs from the perspective of other people in the FML in a long time either. Those were pretty much hit or miss.

plot twist: the plot twists WILL return... soon

slickchrome 11

Try breastfeeding? Doesn't make him a mama's boy

iamabamf 17

Lol #5 just looks like a douche in his picture. Thought maybe he could've redeemed himself with a funny comment, but apparently not.

#85 if you are going to uselessly add on to this stream of comments and call a girl fat based on her picture, which she doesn't look fat in at all.. maybe she should say no to thirds? Maybe you should say yes to a coat? Or is your blubber keeping you warm? Now its your turn to hate on my picture.. oh wait you can't :/.. DICK

I kind of, I said KIND OF, agree with 85 a little.. if she's going to judge someone by their picture, that isn't right. But judging back isn't very nice either.

slickchrome 11

50- if you think a picture that is in fact of me and my step daughter (I cut her out since I don't want her face on here) making silly faces as being a douche then yes, only somebody with a nickname "Iambamf" would recognize their own kind.

Infamous_Tora 12

And that, FML, is a burn. Please, apply cold water to afflicted area.

stewie604 is still a fuckface though. Making fun of people's weight or looks is a shitty thing to do, especially when they're grown men trying to put younger people down, it's just pathetic.

am I the only one who thought #5's pic was cute and quirky?

Aren't we all technically "mama's boy" (or girl for that matter)?

olpally 32

Not really, his mom is a creepy ass bitch.

Oh look, there's olpally again with his nasty comments.

noonenoeone 22

Never have I seen olpally contribute anything funny...why must he keep posting?!?

some of his comments are funny few. but they do exist. somewhere

Beepbeep7 14

I think the mom was just trying to diffuse the situation and the son took it the wrong way...

Beepbeep7 14

Diffuse it how? That is way too creepy.Especially to say it in front of your son.

k_lylepad 19

Your mom's name wouldn't happen to be Jocasta would it?

diving_fml 30

Your mom has a good sense of humor.

It's just a joke. Your mom has a sense of humor. Laugh a little, people.

rebellionwars 11

There was nothing funny about this, it was gross and sick.

Well, I laughed, amongst many other people, so we all must be gross and sick

Anyb0dyTh 8

I LAUGHED my A$$ OFF. I wish my mom would do that! Lololololol Then later, I would definitely be sucking on my GF breasts :D It was obviously a lame attempt to break them up, but in my case it would only drive us closer together. Hahahaha. Of course we already know my mom is crazy and so does my GF. That would totally be the icing on the cake. Lol.

Weiss729 6
grrhelpme 12

hahaha hope your gf has a sense of humor