Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47623) - you deserved it (12342)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (2691)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46259) - you deserved it (7309)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52327) - you deserved it (3859)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50248) - you deserved it (6526)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (6144)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
124 comments

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64104) - you deserved it (6602)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78383) - you deserved it (7165)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76620) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47318) - you deserved it (4799)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60870) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54057) - you deserved it (3413)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: