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Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47925) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (11862)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52205) - you deserved it (5022)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45099) - you deserved it (5923)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (6784)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
124 comments

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69916) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (5865)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58042) - you deserved it (5924)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54565) - you deserved it (3826)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47170) - you deserved it (5446)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



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