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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (11055)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57148) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

#21036142
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44404) - you deserved it (5623)

On 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by IMSERIOUS - United States (California)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (19806)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13653)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52538) - you deserved it (4727)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (5113)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56423) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47931) - you deserved it (5542)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (4097)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56746) - you deserved it (6407)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (4353)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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