How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin?

You're going to get so many bitches with a dolphin

you get drunk at sea world

Show me the PayPal!

There have actually been cases of dolphins raping people. Creepy, I know. You can Google dolphin rape case if you don't believe me.

good for you. sometimes some moms don't have the support of the dad or are hooked on drugs. hoping for the best

32: WRONG FML!

he thought it was a sex toy

They are quite easily confused with porpoises, eh?

Dolphins are one of the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

Dolphins swim. Equally irrelevant to this fml I hope...unless bestiality is involved. 0.o.

Ray William Johnson lol its true.... Dolphins rape humans!!

My shark and your dolphin should have a playdate sometime, OP. ;)

One does not simply just adopt a dolphin by accident.

when a dolphin and a shark fight, the dolphin usually wins

-____-

Hey 23 how are you ?
Guess what i clicked on you again. Sorry

Bitches love dolphins

exactly. how do you accidently send money/check or put in credit card numbers...

91- is that supposed to be a whale?

There's this type of monkey that also does

That was my first thought

First thing that popped up in my head was, "hey dats cheap!" lol

Dolphins are just gay sharks.

My thoughts exactly #1 :) great minds think alike :)

That's what I was thinking

It's probably one of those things were you donate money to save the animals..

It wasn't an accident, OP. You did it on porpoise.

Maybe OP thought it was to buy something else...something not a dolphin.

I'm guessing you got this information from Wikipedia, the world's worst information source that any idiotic nine-year-old can edit. Am I right?

same way you accidentally fall on to someone's dick

The fu....

...n you can experience with a dolphin

...ck happened to the rest of that sentence?

Laziness at its finest. Either that or he had a stroke mid-comment.

That is the best investment you will ever make. A dolphin for 125$!! You OP are going to get the ladies!! Look at this as a blessing in disguise.

Where is OP gonna keep the dolphin?

128: it's more like a sponsorship than a physical adoption.

My sentiments exactly # 2

Your sentiments about a random dolphin adoption are to take a dump?? o.O

128: in his bathtub, obviously

What did you think you were buying while putting down your information or logging into PayPal.

were you on something or drunk? if not, it's a little bit alarming that while you were putting in your details and everything necessary to make a purchase like that, you didn't realise you were, in fact, buying a dolphin haha

Seeing as OP is Optimus prime, it's obvious he was looking to buy some scrap metal and car parts...

He had to put in his credit card info! How else could he collect the prize for being the millionth visitor?

What does OP stand for?

Original poster

Thats fucking awesome.

yeah I know, how the fuck is this an FML?;)

yes I know right!!! this is more like a 'yay my life' than a 'fuck my life':)

He'll yes they are and he should have brought it home and taught it tricks! And for all you assholes out there, yes I know he can't really bring it home.

*Hell* stupid auto correct on my iPhone.

OP, you should be fucking glad!

Dolphins are awesome!

Get that bitch a dolphin. Bitches love dolphins.

I adopted a Giraffe once. But I could pet and feed her whenever I went back too the zoo after that. I wonder how it works with dolphins...

Tomorrow, I accidentally bought a whale. FML

That's awesome! Over here it costs like $300 just to swim with them for only a few hours!

I see an opportunity

A few hours??? I want to go! That's longer than here. It costs more like 250$ an hour here. :(

Buy dolphins, get women, make money. Good thing I haven't paid to go to college yet.

There isn't even anywhere in my country you can go swimming with dolphins!

I hope you have a swimming pool

No, but he does have a sink.

Hahahaaa

"Please have sex with me"
"No."
"I have a dolphin"
"Ok"
You will never have another "Dry spell" again.

Lol sooo this would work on you hmm? Looks like I need to figure how to do this too.

Would work for me *shrug*
Who doesn't want a hot dolphin 3 way?

12 is right. Bitches love dolphins.

Especially on grandmas. Old lady's love those ceramic dolphin displays. Op will be getting mad geriatric play.
Op: Hey momma, I just got myself a dolphin.
Granny: Just let me take my teeth out.

97 - What in the actual fuck?

30: dude. she's 15. I don't care how you meant it, that's beyond creepy

for some reason reading challan's comment made my penis cringe.

103- the gum job doesn't do it for you? ;)
98- try and keep up, man!

"Your car, chick magnet? Pfft. I have a dolphin, my friend." Lol.