By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 930
You deserved it 31 796

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YdoIhaveAchode 4

How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin?

waresjake 3

You're going to get so many bitches with a dolphin


YdoIhaveAchode 4

How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin?

waresjake 3

You're going to get so many bitches with a dolphin

jerseyboy732 16

you get drunk at sea world

cakeddeath 1

Show me the PayPal!

DontClickOnMe 28

There have actually been cases of dolphins raping people. Creepy, I know. You can Google dolphin rape case if you don't believe me.

good for you. sometimes some moms don't have the support of the dad or are hooked on drugs. hoping for the best

jerseyboy732 16


he thought it was a sex toy

They are quite easily confused with porpoises, eh?

Dolphins are one of the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

Dolphins swim. Equally irrelevant to this fml I hope...unless ********** is involved. 0.o.

Ray William Johnson lol its true.... Dolphins rape humans!!

FMLshark 12

My shark and your dolphin should have a playdate sometime, OP. ;)

Da_Bauss435 8

One does not simply just adopt a dolphin by accident.

when a dolphin and a shark fight, the dolphin usually wins

nightheat 5


Hey 23 how are you ? Guess what i clicked on you again. Sorry

Bitches love dolphins

cayytee 0

exactly. how do you accidently send money/check or put in credit card numbers...

91- is that supposed to be a whale?

haZzbin 0

There's this type of monkey that also does

jbizzle2688 6

That was my first thought

Chacon93 1

First thing that popped up in my head was, "hey dats cheap!" lol

Dolphins are just gay sharks.

My thoughts exactly #1 :) great minds think alike :)

guci101 14

That's what I was thinking

noelykins1 19

It's probably one of those things were you donate money to save the animals..

It wasn't an accident, OP. You did it on porpoise.

doctor__who 19

Maybe OP thought it was to buy something else...something not a dolphin.

I'm guessing you got this information from Wikipedia, the world's worst information source that any idiotic nine-year-old can edit. Am I right?

same way you accidentally fall on to someone's dick

...n you can experience with a dolphin

FMLshark 12 happened to the rest of that sentence?

Laziness at its finest. Either that or he had a stroke mid-comment.

Just_STFU_Please 13

That is the best investment you will ever make. A dolphin for 125$!! You OP are going to get the ladies!! Look at this as a blessing in disguise.

TorturedXeno 27

Where is OP gonna keep the dolphin?

MiniNyn 5

128: it's more like a sponsorship than a physical adoption.

My sentiments exactly # 2

v1kt4r 13

Your sentiments about a random dolphin adoption are to take a dump?? o.O

xBulldogBabex 0

128: in his bathtub, obviously

What did you think you were buying while putting down your information or logging into PayPal.

_ebbonyy 11

were you on something or drunk? if not, it's a little bit alarming that while you were putting in your details and everything necessary to make a purchase like that, you didn't realise you were, in fact, buying a dolphin haha

thejewishfuhrer 17

Seeing as OP is Optimus prime, it's obvious he was looking to buy some scrap metal and car parts...

He had to put in his credit card info! How else could he collect the prize for being the millionth visitor?

What does OP stand for?

Original poster

Thats ******* awesome.

yeah I know, how the **** is this an FML?;)

yes I know right!!! this is more like a 'yay my life' than a '**** my life':)

Da_Bauss435 8

He'll yes they are and he should have brought it home and taught it tricks! And for all you assholes out there, yes I know he can't really bring it home.

Da_Bauss435 8

*Hell* stupid auto correct on my iPhone.

OP, you should be ******* glad!

Dolphins are awesome!

Da_Bauss435 8

Get that bitch a dolphin. Bitches love dolphins.

I adopted a Giraffe once. But I could pet and feed her whenever I went back too the zoo after that. I wonder how it works with dolphins...

Tomorrow, I accidentally bought a whale. FML

DontClickOnMe 28

That's awesome! Over here it costs like $300 just to swim with them for only a few hours!

I see an opportunity

A few hours??? I want to go! That's longer than here. It costs more like 250$ an hour here. :(

Buy dolphins, get women, make money. Good thing I haven't paid to go to college yet.

There isn't even anywhere in my country you can go swimming with dolphins!

jerseyboy732 16

I hope you have a swimming pool

No, but he does have a sink.

sunshimegrimm3 0


"Please have sex with me" "No." "I have a dolphin" "Ok" You will never have another "Dry spell" again.

sean0206 5

Lol sooo this would work on you hmm? Looks like I need to figure how to do this too.

Would work for me *shrug* Who doesn't want a hot dolphin 3 way?

fthislyfe 22

12 is right. Bitches love dolphins.

challan 19

Especially on grandmas. Old lady's love those ceramic dolphin displays. Op will be getting mad geriatric play. Op: Hey momma, I just got myself a dolphin. Granny: Just let me take my teeth out.

97 - What in the actual ****?

30: dude. she's 15. I don't care how you meant it, that's beyond creepy

flockz 19

for some reason reading challan's comment made my penis cringe.

challan 19

103- the gum job doesn't do it for you? ;) 98- try and keep up, man!

KiddNYC1O 20

"Your car, chick magnet? Pfft. I have a dolphin, my friend." Lol.