ALL FML

By Malpal - 23/01/2009 11:03 - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

agreeclassic 10 550

vote type 1 29 649

By moronicmoroccan - 23/01/2009 10:16 - Philippines

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

agreeclassic 25 214

vote type 1 2 378

By cyantist - 23/01/2009 08:24 - United States

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

agreeclassic 24 865

vote type 1 5 211

You tried… Yay!

By twat - 23/01/2009 06:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality, he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

agreeclassic 23 048

vote type 1 7 871

By moronicmoroccan - 22/01/2009 23:26 - Philippines

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

agreeclassic 18 542

vote type 1 2 571

By william - 22/01/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

agreeclassic 9 917

vote type 1 32 445

By yeah... - 22/01/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I am still in love with, sent me a text message that said, "I miss you, baby." It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

agreeclassic 27 819

vote type 1 2 253

By Promo girl - 22/01/2009 22:35 - Australia

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

agreeclassic 27 375

vote type 1 2 359

By TotallyFkd - 22/01/2009 20:49 - United States

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

agreeclassic 27 693

vote type 1 3 014

By Princeton - 22/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML

agreeclassic 6 771

vote type 1 47 996

By radiant - 22/01/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

agreeclassic 24 997

vote type 1 4 279

By insearch4i - 22/01/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

agreeclassic 16 872

vote type 1 31 181

By fecurtis - 22/01/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

agreeclassic 7 431

vote type 1 37 408

By DarkPain - 22/01/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

agreeclassic 20 338

vote type 1 2 468

By Benji - 22/01/2009 12:06 - France

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

agreeclassic 10 532

vote type 1 65 428

By sadtimes - 22/01/2009 11:10 - Canada

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

agreeclassic 21 251

vote type 1 4 260

By unifail - 22/01/2009 10:48 - Canada

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

agreeclassic 22 755

vote type 1 4 835

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

agreeclassic 6 420

vote type 1 33 357

By Daryll - 22/01/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

agreeclassic 24 233

vote type 1 4 416

Wrong target

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

agreeclassic 11 923

vote type 1 38 885

By noodle - 21/01/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

agreeclassic 25 117

vote type 1 3 981

By stanDman - 21/01/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

agreeclassic 22 106

vote type 1 10 970

By Ella - 21/01/2009 17:56 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

agreeclassic 22 450

vote type 1 5 134

By maddy - 21/01/2009 17:03 - France

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

agreeclassic 22 809

vote type 1 2 635

By Trash - 21/01/2009 14:23 - France

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

agreeclassic 8 399

vote type 1 28 298

By Noname - 21/01/2009 12:36 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super cute dentist chick enters and says, "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

agreeclassic 23 720

vote type 1 3 637

By Wititipwitpwit - 21/01/2009 10:03 - France

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

agreeclassic 7 039

vote type 1 49 075

Thanks, kind stranger

By fr1day - 21/01/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I caught the train and I was forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumped off one stop before mine. A little old lady came on, so I shuffled over so she could sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train, I notice my pants were wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

agreeclassic 30 075

vote type 1 2 348

By Dudeman5000 - 21/01/2009 06:59 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

agreeclassic 22 635

vote type 1 5 895

By mat - 21/01/2009 06:02 - France

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

agreeclassic 34 243

vote type 1 2 637

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

agreeclassic 46 915

vote type 1 6 163

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

agreeclassic 43 495

vote type 1 6 237

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her TV repaired. FML

agreeclassic 35 039

vote type 1 3 018

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

agreeclassic 646

vote type 1 202

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

agreeclassic 34 221

vote type 1 4 851

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

agreeclassic 40 596

vote type 1 7 524