Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13973) - you deserved it (22120)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (2251)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30742) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

#8550673
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (34486)

On 02/22/2010 at 10:35am - health - by AngelAshley (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (1833)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

#8547021
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (1893)

On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9454) - you deserved it (23256)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

zebra_pillow's comment : why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21416) - you deserved it (5580)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (3535)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: