Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9296) - you deserved it (66571)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

#12751809
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (12603)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (53957)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

#12748715
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (8809)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:11am - love - by tj - United States

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31309) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (5655)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (2910)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16636) - you deserved it (67739)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

evilplatypus's comment : then fess up to your bosses that it's your fault, ass-wipe

See all the comments →

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (8769)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

#12736614
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10688) - you deserved it (40479)

On 08/25/2010 at 9:10am - misc - by Eyebrowsgone - United States (California)

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

#12731475
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (9406)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (4897)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: