Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16001) - you deserved it (35226)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2529)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

#7962571
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (3760)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:16am - love - by mike (man) - United States (West Virginia)

wambamtysam's comment : the fact is, people who end up killing themselves never speak about it. it's always a shock or a mystery. she's just a little poser and wouldn't have the balls to kill herself.

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Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

#7960442
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (29115)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:12am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (5512)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

#7957934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2751)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by nekoneko (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (4682)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML

#7948337
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (4685)

On 02/06/2010 at 8:19pm - work - by Enrique (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

#7946565
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6753) - you deserved it (40096)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by Nominome - Sent from mobile version

npk88's comment : "Today, I was in line minding my own business at the store when some bitch in front of me purposely took a long time to check out. I was having a hard time and gasping for breath the whole time because I didn't have my oxygen tank. FML"

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Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (18784)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)



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