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Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

#8366302
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2376)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (3056)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

#8364767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13701) - you deserved it (29696)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (3827)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (3471)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

#8361360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (8549)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:03am - love - by kippis05 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (2477)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (2416)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

#8350634
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (24910)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:29pm - love - by croleymd - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30290) - you deserved it (2230)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML



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