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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (1827)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

#7452564
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by embarrassedinretail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (27061)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7929) - you deserved it (43303)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (4158)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

#7450166
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (32218)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5783) - you deserved it (79636)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

startafire's comment : Why the hell would you do that? Pervert. Besides, a lot of elevators have cameras too.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (12632)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

#7449785
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:09am - love - by mysterygurll1234567 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (13157)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)



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