Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40080) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

#3910940
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35307) - you deserved it (7130)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

#3910335
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41601) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

#3909858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (15902)

On 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm - animals - by FlowerPower (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (23702)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (3012)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (5189)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (60141)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML

#3904957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (4612)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by flyakite29 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

#3904577
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

#3904309
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70370) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML

#3899381
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (13115)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: