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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (5761)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8567) - you deserved it (19730)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (3348)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (3863)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28674) - you deserved it (4770)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (6921)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (19514)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

#8430182
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (27072)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Skankeriffic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7433) - you deserved it (20842)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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