Work: Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well...

By Crunchy - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

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20407

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Work

Broken heart

Never engage with psychos

Shark-infested offices

By Nomoresandwish - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

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29139

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By "levsterx"

Today, my mom dragged me along with her to a baby shower. I was the only guy there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4509

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595

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By Anonymous

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2225

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676

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By fyreangel - United States - Warren

Today, I replaced my dating apps with food apps cause at least someone will show up after I use the food apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9282

You deserved it

953

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By RatherOCDthanNasty - Norway - Oslo

Today, my mum told me I should see a therapist when she saw me wipe down a remote before using it. My dad has a knack for blowing his nose into his hand and wiping it on his pants, and my mum is the kind to pick up food residue from the drain and eat it - but sure, I'M the one with bad habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7521

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By Chucho - United States - Boston

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20506

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By dusty

Today I picked my baby up from my babysitter's house. As I was getting him ready for bed, I saw blood and immediately went into a panic, rushing to the hospital and trying to contact her to see if my baby fell and she didn't tell me. Turns out it was just hot Cheeto dust mixed with drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2100

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

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54601

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By clapping_for_you

Today, in a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it... FML...

I agree, your life sucks

3144

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373

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13756

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By Beewwwbs - Australia - Wembley

Today, I'm on a pill that "may cause breast tenderness". My 32E breasts took that to mean swell up a size, become heavy as lead, be so sore I can't move without a bra on, and stiffen my neck and back muscles so badly I thought I had an ear infection. This will last "a few weeks to months". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2676

You deserved it

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By Ya - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55154

You deserved it

11577

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By Raven - Canada - Brantford

Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2157

You deserved it

129

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By housedoctor - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40770

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4604

You deserved it

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By sweet

Today, I discovered that despite locking the bathroom door of an airplane, a man is still fully capable of walking in on you changing your tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16696

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1909

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By jshum - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13147

You deserved it

1922

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By eyepatch - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6765

You deserved it

403

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By EwwEwwEww - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5778

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440

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By Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33623

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37654

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By SierraCheyenne - United States - Denver

Poor Henry

Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2014

You deserved it

509

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2020 14:01

Mix and match

Today, as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't decide between my black or white shoes. I put one of each on, then my son started crying. Fast forward, I'm at church, I look down and I'm wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

798

You deserved it

317

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By MBrabs1996

Today, despite the schedule saying I was off, I found out I’m supposed to be working because my boss changed the schedule without my knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2472

Phew, glad it wasn't me

214

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42624

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By BlueMacaw - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25921

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By never_ending_hangover - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32015

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54282

You deserved it

17271

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By Noname - Japan

Earthquake sneezer

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52666

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad came in to ask if I wanted the rest of his cake. I'd made it for my cousin's wedding, and spent 2 days preparing it. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

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2077

You deserved it

124

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By Steph - United States

Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1502

You deserved it

394

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By KitKat270 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52612

You deserved it

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By Noname - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

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48903

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Not really a good idea

Today, I decide to let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life, then a few days after we used melted chocolate I got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

910

You deserved it

2252

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By minette08 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24024

You deserved it

3051

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By Anonymous - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23385

You deserved it

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By nurse4life - United States - Moultrie

420 BLAZE IT BRO!!!

Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5771

You deserved it

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By runescapeftw - United States

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31433

You deserved it

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By Danno - United States

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24828

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

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35354

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Top comments

By balor_fml | 0

#125758 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:42

That company was doomed anyways, there was a mole in the organization!

By asxp10 | 0

#125755 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:41

You couldn't tell the difference between a mole and a bug?

COMMENTS

By asxp10 | 0

#125755 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:41

You couldn't tell the difference between a mole and a bug?

YANKSFAN4EVER | 0

#1278975 - Saturday 21 August 2010 7:19

what I do if I do something like that and I am wrong I just say no not there over there!! Just to hide my mistake it saves me all the time.

toxic_hippos | 11

#6066783 - Wednesday 17 September 2014 4:02

Might of been really really dark

By Zigster94 | 0

#125757 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:41

i guess that sealed the deal.

chaos753159 | 4

#790261 - Friday 22 January 2010 5:55

seriously did u get the job

By balor_fml | 0

#125758 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:42

That company was doomed anyways, there was a mole in the organization!

By lizwriteslove | 0

#125760 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:42

Hahahaha! That's great :D

By Serial | 2

#125768 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:43

at least you didnt try to smash it and smack him

By pancakes_n_syrup | 0

#125770 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:43

You're a great person, I'm sure.

I hope you got the job

By angelsnarrows | 0

#125789 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:47

sucks.

By Zigster94 | 0

#125798 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:49

Today, I was holding an interview for a potential employee. He then proceeds to tell me that there was something disgusting crawling on me. Turns out it was my mole. FML

wowlol727 | 0

#2764961 - Sunday 26 June 2011 22:04

so original...

By soannoyed123 | 0

#125804 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:50

HAHAHAHAHAH

By turtlebots | 0

#125810 - Monday 20 April 2009 2:51

And how long did it take you to notice a mole on the interviewer's neck? And why would you shout? Civilized people don't shout during interviews.