Love: Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out,...

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 226

You deserved it 4 773

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 626

You deserved it 19 520

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 737

You deserved it 7 565

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 836

You deserved it 333

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 750

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 930

You deserved it 5 518

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 1 803

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 2 364

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 093

You deserved it 934

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 101

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 297

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

Comments

grimmjowj 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:02

LOL thats great

eehizle 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 23:14

laughing or crying?

crazykunuklildoo 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 14:06

lucky!

22cute 17

Sunday 15 April 2012 14:42

Your wife is great! YLIG

Link5794 18

Monday 2 July 2012 4:30

Read it again. "elderly woman"

hsdtt03 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:07

neenick 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:18

This is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!!

buunana 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:29

Haaahaha. Hope they weren't too saggy :/

iJasper 8

Friday 8 July 2011 17:20

LMAO xD

walker44 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:32

That's so funny!

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

AngryNinja 1

Sunday 21 October 2012 3:18

I'm betting she was pissed

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Sunday 25 April 2010 21:18

#7 is WIN.

nriney 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 15:44

#7 hahaha that's great

Tsukasa_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

Hysterical laughter or what?

Dhamy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:53

She thought it was funny,right? ...Because it is! That's hilarious!

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:01

Yeah, and at least she waited until they weren't in public anymore to laugh. It's just funny. :D

danza_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:56

#7 - :D hahaha i love you

Keywords

Work Cute Awkward Transportation Parenting Accident Cars Coffee Relatable Annoying Roommate Food Miscellaneous Parents Paranoia Texting Kids Mental health Anger issues Argument Love Intimacy Sex Dad jokes Cops Shopping Technology Embarrassing Sports Proposal

The Top

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 612

You deserved it 7 920

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 1 544

The Top

Today, I tore my calf muscle while skipping and singing Yellow Brick Road. I'm off my foot for 4-6 weeks and don't even have a cool story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 403

Today, I'm tired, on Benadryl, temporarily moved into my mom’s house because my roommate chose to get an ESP dog who sheds, even though I told them I'm anaphylactic crazy allergic. They won’t get rid of the dog and I can’t afford to break the lease. I'm also flunking all my classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 147

Today, my girlfriend filmed a video about violence in sexual relationships for a class. I expected a monologue kind of thing. She then told me it was an example video of an encounter with a male classmate. She showed me. It’s pretty much porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 241

Today, my idiot son tried to load the dishwasher while the dishes inside were clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 392

Today, after ignoring me for about a week, my boyfriend finally broke up with me. Why? He discovered that I use prescription deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 768

You deserved it 386

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 656

You deserved it 39 197

Same thing different taste

Didn't see ya there

Pranks for all ages

Saved!

I don't know my strength

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