Love: Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out,...

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 231

You deserved it 4 774

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 631

You deserved it 19 528

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 748

You deserved it 7 568

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 334

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 937

You deserved it 5 523

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 805

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 2 365

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 935

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 101

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 309

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

Comments

grimmjowj 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:02

LOL thats great

eehizle 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 23:14

laughing or crying?

crazykunuklildoo 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 14:06

lucky!

22cute 17

Sunday 15 April 2012 14:42

Your wife is great! YLIG

Link5794 18

Monday 2 July 2012 4:30

Read it again. "elderly woman"

hsdtt03 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:07

neenick 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:18

This is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!!

buunana 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:29

Haaahaha. Hope they weren't too saggy :/

iJasper 8

Friday 8 July 2011 17:20

LMAO xD

walker44 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:32

That's so funny!

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

AngryNinja 1

Sunday 21 October 2012 3:18

I'm betting she was pissed

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Sunday 25 April 2010 21:18

#7 is WIN.

nriney 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 15:44

#7 hahaha that's great

Tsukasa_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

Hysterical laughter or what?

Dhamy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:53

She thought it was funny,right? ...Because it is! That's hilarious!

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:01

Yeah, and at least she waited until they weren't in public anymore to laugh. It's just funny. :D

danza_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:56

#7 - :D hahaha i love you

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work You're fired Cars Kids Parenting Cats DIY Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 78

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

The Top

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 969

You deserved it 2 522

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 81 639

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 447

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 304

You deserved it 3 761

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 152

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 456

You deserved it 13 938

Same thing different taste

Didn't see ya there

Pranks for all ages

Saved!

I don't know my strength

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