Love: Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out,...

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 242

You deserved it 4 779

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 637

You deserved it 19 533

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 759

You deserved it 7 571

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 335

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 719

You deserved it 764

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 5 526

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 1 806

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 2 367

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 107

You deserved it 942

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 107

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 316

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

Comments

grimmjowj 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:02

LOL thats great

eehizle 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 23:14

laughing or crying?

crazykunuklildoo 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 14:06

lucky!

22cute 17

Sunday 15 April 2012 14:42

Your wife is great! YLIG

Link5794 18

Monday 2 July 2012 4:30

Read it again. "elderly woman"

hsdtt03 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:07

neenick 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:18

This is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!!

buunana 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:29

Haaahaha. Hope they weren't too saggy :/

iJasper 8

Friday 8 July 2011 17:20

LMAO xD

walker44 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:32

That's so funny!

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

AngryNinja 1

Sunday 21 October 2012 3:18

I'm betting she was pissed

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Sunday 25 April 2010 21:18

#7 is WIN.

nriney 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 15:44

#7 hahaha that's great

Tsukasa_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

Hysterical laughter or what?

Dhamy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:53

She thought it was funny,right? ...Because it is! That's hilarious!

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:01

Yeah, and at least she waited until they weren't in public anymore to laugh. It's just funny. :D

danza_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:56

#7 - :D hahaha i love you

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The Top

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 291

You deserved it 72 528

Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 718

You deserved it 226

The Top

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 600

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 2 036

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 4 411

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 365

You deserved it 2 572

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 439

You deserved it 3 244

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 973

You deserved it 37 975

Same thing different taste

Didn't see ya there

Pranks for all ages

Saved!

I don't know my strength

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