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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

#13008044
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/11/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML

#13007829
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (4479)

On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28311) - you deserved it (5431)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

#13006251
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by damnit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (10210)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (3462)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (3444)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

#12999181
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/11/2010 at 1:31am - health - by fuzzy1895 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (5559)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

#12998632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34668) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

#12997934
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (60001)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML

#12995746
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (2427)

On 09/10/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12080) - you deserved it (39950)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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