Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position... - FML

By jcstpierre - United States

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62448

You deserved it

5564

Tweet

Share

British Broadcasting Corporation

Child labor

Phantom pooper

By Potforapeso - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42383

You deserved it

5275

Tweet

Share

By hairplease - United States

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43659

You deserved it

2382

Tweet

Share

By dream1334 - United States - East Rockaway

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23106

You deserved it

9605

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14607

You deserved it

53792

Tweet

Share

By AloneForChristmas

Today... I live in dorms and found out everyone is leaving for Christmas break. I also found out my student loan didn't go through so now I cant afford to go visit my family that lives over 7hrs away. I guess I'll be spending Christmas alone in a dorm room... FML

I agree, your life sucks

2638

You deserved it

208

Tweet

Share

By B-Ry

Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4375

You deserved it

316

Tweet

Share

By I can still feel it... - United States - Midlothian

Today, my contact split completely in half at a wedding. Not only did I interrupt the vows with my scream of pain, but I was only able to fish out half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2736

You deserved it

225

Tweet

Share

By owngoalscored

Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3536

You deserved it

300

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1607

You deserved it

176

Tweet

Share

By Lexi801 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44762

You deserved it

2872

Tweet

Share

By acnegirl - United States

Today, I was romantically cuddling with my boyfriend. He looked deep into my eyes, stared lovingly at me, and said, "I never noticed, but you have the most adorable freckles on your face..." Blushing, I tilted my head to the side. He then said, "Oh, never mind, those are just your blackheads." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51631

You deserved it

7122

Tweet

Share

By sad_dad - Canada

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39901

You deserved it

10191

Tweet

Share

By congrats grad - United States - Panorama City

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47906

You deserved it

3391

Tweet

Share

By Celluloid - United States

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17035

You deserved it

39784

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/8/2020 02:02

Morbid cringe

Today, I realized just how pathetic my life is when I found myself fascinated by videos that a woman posts on YouTube of her removing ingrown hairs and zits from people’s private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

895

You deserved it

280

Tweet

Share

By bbns - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25256

You deserved it

2725

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

65837

You deserved it

6919

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Northern Mariana Islands - Saipan

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." Two hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24690

You deserved it

5297

Tweet

Share

By Soundofaboner - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76242

You deserved it

10070

Tweet

Share

By fml - Australia - Sydney

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20535

You deserved it

4678

Tweet

Share

By cazzb - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30722

You deserved it

3011

Tweet

Share

By Vassy - Canada - Montreal

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12625

You deserved it

32592

Tweet

Share

By minimoonpie - Australia

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31002

You deserved it

2680

Tweet

Share

By RetailScapegoat

Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4424

You deserved it

244

Tweet

Share

By Time for a haircut - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50757

You deserved it

7041

Tweet

Share

By Mils - Australia - Blackburn

Maternal monitoring

Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3124

You deserved it

845

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Boom, headshot!

Today, my boyfriend headbutted me during sex. This wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1452

You deserved it

229

Tweet

Share

By joyness - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42114

You deserved it

24638

Tweet

Share

By lakatkat - United States

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41645

You deserved it

6379

Tweet

Share

By dykerino - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38595

You deserved it

7516

Tweet

Share

By passedout

Today, I got my blood drawn for a donation and they didn't warn me that I was borderline anemic. I passed out in the middle of Walgreens and woke up to people just standing there, staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4480

You deserved it

459

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29286

You deserved it

5346

Tweet

Share

By PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13748

You deserved it

47527

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 02:03 - United States - Cleveland

Inspirational tale

Today, my parents got a call from my principal. I'd been lying that I couldn’t see the work I had to do in my online class, because I was behind and I needed to catch up. Tomorrow my parents are getting a call, telling them the dates I've been logged into the online learning. I haven’t logged in in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

190

You deserved it

2177

Tweet

Share

By RobotUnicorn1209 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24478

You deserved it

2691

Tweet

Share

By dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28285

You deserved it

3180

Tweet

Share

By skunkcat - 11/3/2020 21:00 - United States

Smelly business

Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

548

You deserved it

1599

Tweet

Share

By kaitlintaylor - United States

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23548

You deserved it

5224

Tweet

Share

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43989

You deserved it

10340

Tweet

Share

By tkr - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9900

You deserved it

39766

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By mykbibby | 0

#139797 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:20

Hey, at least the income will still be coming in to one of you, instead of to a complete stranger. You would've been fired no matter what, better it be your boyfriend replacing you.

By rukusrazor | 0

#139822 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:26

Well now it's your turn to just sit on the couch all day and play xbox, while HE is paying rent and working.

COMMENTS

By charlottex33 | 0

#139757 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:07

hahaha that sucks FYL

Reply

nahgemoohc | 17

#4503414 - Thursday 31 May 2012 16:28

And looks like she'll be replacing you in the relationship.

By MukyDaCookie | 0

#139759 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:07

Wow! That really sucks
Guess you weren't doing such a good job huh?

By padlarf | 14

#139777 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:11

What? A real FML? :O

By quantumoftruth | 0

#139787 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:15

Think of it as a new beginning. Use your new found free time to kill that motherfucker's entire family

Reply

Jiplo | 18

#5945435 - Thursday 15 May 2014 3:35

A bit harsh there, are we?

By OrdinaryMan_fml | 0

#139788 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:15

You shoulda just let your bf to find his own job, YDI :)

By toolman | 0

#139796 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:20

if he knew it you should dump him. now.

Reply

celtics18 | 0

#4832518 - Sunday 19 August 2012 0:23

Holy shit you're retarded

By mykbibby | 0

#139797 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:20

Hey, at least the income will still be coming in to one of you, instead of to a complete stranger. You would've been fired no matter what, better it be your boyfriend replacing you.

By kwbuzz23wk | 0

#139802 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:21

#4 FTW!!!!

Reply

rannerbananer | 8

#6040976 - Monday 18 August 2014 6:21

Yeah I'm a little confused by #4's comment as well...? Lol what the heck???

By blue8795 | 0

#139806 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:22

Agreeing with #7.

They would've fired you either way, since they were obviously looking. If you're living with him, no net loss of money.

Still, that sucks. A real FML.

By I_am_stupid_also | 6

#139821 - Friday 24 April 2009 20:26

Now your boyfriend can ride your case for not having a job. In the meantime he can insist you do the cleaning and cooking.