Miscellaneous: Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11938

You deserved it

61162

Tweet

Share

Messed up

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Zeitgeist

By justafriend

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5136

You deserved it

341

Tweet

Share

By makeupsex - Canada

Toxic

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34088

You deserved it

5214

Tweet

Share

By fataldisease - France

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25925

You deserved it

7523

Tweet

Share

By pkstarstorm - United States

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52958

You deserved it

19992

Tweet

Share

By kukadaman - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34488

You deserved it

2370

Tweet

Share

By Gigi - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9597

You deserved it

30583

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1926

You deserved it

235

Tweet

Share

By corleon198425 - United States

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27030

You deserved it

2365

Tweet

Share

By housebroken - United States

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23342

You deserved it

3305

Tweet

Share

By wow - France

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35708

You deserved it

6181

Tweet

Share

By DezyCoCo - United States - Penfield

Today, I spent 2 hours organizing all of my coupons, just to leave out my room for 10 seconds to come back to my 2-year-old crumbling them up and ripping them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10115

You deserved it

2536

Tweet

Share

By oD_Ronan - United States - Olympia

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41211

You deserved it

4501

Tweet

Share

By bridetobe - United States

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51497

You deserved it

4820

Tweet

Share

By valarmorgoolies - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31709

You deserved it

2993

Tweet

Share

By hunter168647 - United States

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27111

You deserved it

8544

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Ontario

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48337

You deserved it

4481

Tweet

Share

By frame - Canada

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

I agree, your life sucks

96988

You deserved it

10208

Tweet

Share

By it's just hair

Today, I was sent home from work because my new haircut "looks too much like Hitler". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3903

You deserved it

727

Tweet

Share

By HighasaCloud - United States - Elkhart

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34760

You deserved it

2521

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44205

You deserved it

4453

Tweet

Share

By spandex - United States

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85283

You deserved it

11885

Tweet

Share

By Joey - United States - Tampa

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34637

You deserved it

8303

Tweet

Share

By frownyface - United States

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45443

You deserved it

3173

Tweet

Share

By 86145 - United States

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33521

You deserved it

5646

Tweet

Share

By mauimango7 - United States

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29234

You deserved it

7995

Tweet

Share

By noname - France

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30637

You deserved it

2662

Tweet

Share

By really mom - United States - Montgomery

Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30134

You deserved it

2091

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33241

You deserved it

4658

Tweet

Share

By whosurdaddy

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8976

You deserved it

1410

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32909

You deserved it

2858

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29655

You deserved it

2681

Tweet

Share

By Jordan - 12/11/2020 05:02 - United States - Herndon

Luck of the draw

Today, I waited 3 hours and paid $360 to have a routine tuneup done on my old car. As I pulled into my driveway, about to turn off the engine, one of my headlights blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

569

You deserved it

46

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Smash the Patriarchy!

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that yes, girls do get armpit hair, we just have to shave it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1424

You deserved it

205

Tweet

Share

By swimmonster81

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22705

You deserved it

1553

Tweet

Share

By FUCK THE PIGS - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37352

You deserved it

4146

Tweet

Share

By dogh8er - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26052

You deserved it

3511

Tweet

Share

By educatedreptile - Canada - Yorkton

Today, I found out that I owe the government money and that the amount will increase if I miss the deadline 2 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9130

You deserved it

1419

Tweet

Share

By Sleepy head - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55601

You deserved it

14969

Tweet

Share

By tnh - United States

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28622

You deserved it

2288

Tweet

Share

By camp - United States

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80876

You deserved it

27547

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By stargirl14 | 0

#141918 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:17

lol thats so immature for fighting over who gets to push the button

By boomBOOMshake | 0

#141908 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:15

Agreed. You shouldn't even have pushed your brother.

COMMENTS

By justme08 | 0

#141897 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:11

wat the hell how didnt you know..lol
pushin random peoples kids..

Reply

xenomorph | 0

#611213 - Friday 9 October 2009 2:57

You should have said "first," given the nature of this FML.

By CassieLOL | 0

#141907 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:14

Haha, poor kid.
You probably deserved that one though.

By boomBOOMshake | 0

#141908 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:15

Agreed. You shouldn't even have pushed your brother.

By stargirl14 | 0

#141918 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:17

lol thats so immature for fighting over who gets to push the button

Reply

blondebrunette11 | 4

#3559415 - Tuesday 8 November 2011 21:29

No, you're just to mature, douche..

By tolkienfanatic | 0

#141929 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:21

Little punk probably deserved it.

By philadelphianus | 0

#141947 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:28

what's with kids and pushing the button? i was TOTALLY a button hog when i was little and now i can't remember why

By x_eyebrows | 0

#141961 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:36

Haha, you should have told them that you had elevator aggression and just couldn't help it!

By fatality2009 | 0

#141968 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:39

Dude you are too violent... shouldnt you know you had to KICK him first"!? xD

By boomBOOMshake | 0

#141970 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:40

#6, it lights up!

By oloie | 0

#141989 - Saturday 25 April 2009 16:48

wow people on this sight need to start looking at who their doing stuff to! dont assume stuff.... YDI

Reply

blankaex | 0

#975191 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 16:37

You're a person on this site.

Reply

empsparks02 | 1

#6154119 - Thursday 25 December 2014 23:53

You mean site, not sight.