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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (9011)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (2385)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (4293)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

#12973891
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11338) - you deserved it (38033)

On 09/09/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by myles bevan - United Kingdom

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wasn't going to break up with me, he was just going to stop touching me. FML

#12972343
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (4492)

On 09/09/2010 at 1:33am - intimacy - by karebear - United States

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (9984)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10712) - you deserved it (35952)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (5581)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8348) - you deserved it (29625)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (38558)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

#12966386
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (9471)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (7929)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)



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