By forgotten - 21/09/2010 22:16 - United States
The Top
By Jake - 07/03/2012 11:14 - United States
That's tasty
By shithole - 26/12/2009 05:36 - United States
By ButtWorthSingingBout - 01/01/2015 18:16 - United States - Phoenix
By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 14:22 - United States
Gross night out
By missunlucky - 18/02/2010 00:24 - Czech Republic
By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
Sorry…
By tukkies - 03/10/2010 09:23 - South Africa
By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 06:22 - Australia
By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 20:08 - United States - Hobart
By sproket - 11/04/2011 23:37
By Fluffydemise - 19/01/2013 18:39 - United States
Fluffydemise tells us more.
OP here. Just made an account. Will consider posting the video!
By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 05:37 - United States
Congrats
By drama_queen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By kaitlin - 19/02/2010 06:30 - Australia
By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States
By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 21:23 - Romania - Bucharest
Not now!
By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States
By Ren - 27/01/2009 20:02 - United States
By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 09:25 - United States - Toledo
By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom
By Caroline - 24/02/2013 09:34 - Denmark - Copenhagen
By sayhey22 - 09/01/2015 15:33 - United States - Sullivan
sayhey22 tells us more.
It almost sounds like a broken fire alarm. It's a sketchy sound haha. I've progressed to just jumping when it happens
By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 22:27 - United States
Keep it down
By rattlingfloorboards - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By SiaJoy - 07/07/2015 06:00 - United States - Augusta
SiaJoy tells us more.
OP here, I love all of the comments you have written :D I didn't think this would get published. But to answer some questions the puke did get all over my shirt, the man apologized to me before stumbling out of the store, and my boss let me leave early. I did not have to clean anything but myself. Maintenance took care of it and they shut down the register for a while to take of it. Thanks for the comments guys :D any questions feel free to message me.
By sillyfox4lyfe - 07/05/2011 07:08 - United States
By pizzaface - 15/03/2010 11:50 - United States
By c - 09/02/2012 00:07
Keywords
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.