School, the best funniest jokes

650

Today, my 14 year-old got a 5-day suspension for fighting. He stood up for an 7th grader who was getting picked on. While the poor kid was eating lunch, they were messing with him when my son stepped in. There were some words said, then a fight. He feels terrible for fighting but I think he was in the right. FML

By Charles Booth - 9/4/2021 14:00 - United States

Kids will be kids

1096

Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML

By victoria - 4/4/2021 21:30

It's a wrap

613

214

Today, my parents have made it very clear to me that if I fail one more assignment, they’re disowning me. I got a zero on a paper that I poured my heart and soul into, and in the notes, the teacher wrote, “I don’t even need to read this paper to know that it is bad.” FML

By Anonymous - 2/4/2021 14:01

A tad unfair

1084

113

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

By superbubbles - 23/3/2021 21:30 - Canada

Barfed out

686

105

Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML

By Anonymous - 14/3/2021 23:01

Private Catholic school?

825

196

Today, I found out that my paper about World War 2 has led my teacher to believe that I hate Jews. I wrote my paper about the technological advances made during the war, and made no mention of Jews. She and I are both Jewish. FML

By Anonymous - 4/3/2021 20:01

Touchy

1095

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

By Anonymous - 4/3/2021 08:01

Drawing a blank

756

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML

By Karenfast17 - 3/3/2021 14:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Are you experienced?

594

294

Today, I'm waiting for the second evaluator to accept my master's thesis so I can graduate. If my grade isn't submitted by the end of the week, my credits will expire, which will have consequences for my job. The evaluator is the same woman who graded essays from the beginning of the college year at the end of it. FML

By Mimmi491 - 28/2/2021 17:01

Get on with it!

923

Today, I got my acceptance letter from Harvard University. Yay! Unfortunately, I sent it as a joke, never thinking I'd get accepted and I have absolutely no way to get there, or the money to pay for it. FML

By Anonymous - 26/2/2021 20:01 - United States

Failing upwards

763

463

Today, during my online class, I was answering my professor's question when my older sister slammed open the door to loudly say, "WHAT'S UP CHICKEN FUCKER?" My class heard. I hate online school. FML

By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 05:01

Great question

894

Today, I had a group project on Zoom with some classmates I'm not so familiar with. When we were done and said our goodbyes, I said, "Bye bye, I love you." FML

By Anonymous - 13/2/2021 17:01 - Sweden - G?teborg

PS I Love You

567

284

Today, I wanted to teach my students about history with dominoes. I thought the online video would be wholesome or relevant to history. Nope. The last domino was captioned "HENTAI." Students now get to explain to their parents that I exposed the word Hentai to their vocabulary. FML

By Anonymous - 11/2/2021 22:59 - United States - Oakland

That's a funny word, mom

294

790

Today, school finally opened up using a hybrid schedule. Unfortunately, two of my teachers were quarantined and half of the school was on Zoom. I spent two hours in the library doing nothing with a mask on. Everyone else was on Zoom in bed. FML

By POP-o-popo - 4/2/2021 17:01

Bored

724

Today, I finally found out why I never got invited to parties in college. My fellow students considered me too ambitious to want to do anything but study hard. The reason they thought that? I tended to be present and on time for classes. FML

By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 08:01

Teacher's pet

808

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 23:01

Unloveable

865

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Hello?

749

Today, after bronchitis and a negative COVID test, I finally went back into my classroom for the last day before break. An hour after I got home, a parent contacted me to let me know her child (whom I helped all day) had tested positive and that I needed to quarantine. She thought I would, "want to know." FML

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 05:02

Contagion

931

Today, the teacher said the class today was very important and that we should take note. Instead of writing notes, I bought a recorder and brought it to class. After class, I listened to the recording and all I could hear was muffled voices. FML

By Stress - Hong Kong - Central District

Very important note

807

2604

Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

By Tytonic - United States - Chevy Chase

Please, apologize

723

1978

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

Science teacher

2602

214

Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that thing away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

By Anonymous - United States - Staten Island

No balls activity

2627

619

Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML

By Anonymous

Taking pictures

2139

441

Today, after having spent all of last night studying for an algebra test, I find out that the test was on a completely different chapter of my textbook. FML

By PNeil

Time wasting

1129

1482

Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML

By Anonymous

Complete mockery

2153

127

Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

By - United States - Washington

2168

Phew, glad it wasn't me

310

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

By Takegami

2453

171

I went to check my grade that was posted for an essay for my comp 1 class. I got a zero. I was devastated only to find out I never actually clicked the submit document button. My grade dropped 20 points.

By "PineappleOfMyEye"

1922

2409