School, Your everyday life stories

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Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

By Tytonic - 3/2/2020 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Please, apologize

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1924

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

By - 13/1/2020 18:00

Science teacher

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Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that thing away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 12:00 - United States - Staten Island

No balls activity

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Today, an old friend showed me pictures proving that my high school sweetheart, who is now my wife, was the school slut who would give anyone a blowjob in the toilets for a fiver. So basically every time I kissed her in high school, I was tonguing another guys cum. I feel physically sick right now. FML

By Anonymous - 12/12/2019 01:00

Tasting a lot at high school

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Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML

By Anonymous - 5/12/2019 14:00

Taking pictures

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Today, after having spent all of last night studying for an algebra test, I find out that the test was on a completely different chapter of my textbook. FML

By PNeil - 13/11/2019 14:00

Time wasting

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Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 01:00

Complete mockery

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Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

By - 29/12/2018 10:00 - United States - Washington

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

By Takegami - 15/12/2018 17:30

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I went to check my grade that was posted for an essay for my comp 1 class. I got a zero. I was devastated only to find out I never actually clicked the submit document button. My grade dropped 20 points.

By "PineappleOfMyEye" - 13/12/2018 12:30

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Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

By Anonymous - 1/12/2018 13:30

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Today, my science teacher said I looked like a hedgehog, then had the whole class take a vote. They voted unanimously that yes, I do look like a hedgehog. FML

By HedgehogFace - 29/11/2018 03:00

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Today, I was in band rehearsing for a big concert coming up. Since the band was practicing with the orchestra and there weren’t enough seats, we had to stand. My back was facing everyone when my friend tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to my ass. I got my period and everyone saw the stain. FML

By DesperateBich - 28/11/2018 14:00

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Today, right after I finished writing a very important paper and saved it to my hard drive, my barely 2-year-old Macbook decided to completely stop functioning. I went to the Apple store and even they can't get it to turn on. That's $1500 down the drain along with my grade. FML

By Allie - 23/11/2018 12:00

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Today, I reached my exam center late after taking wrong metro twice, only to find that I forgot my calculator at home. FML

By risingtide - 20/11/2018 15:30

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Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

By Louis - 15/11/2018 13:00 - South Africa

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Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

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Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML

By 1DisGR8 - 14/11/2018 13:30

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Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML

By Big Mouth - 13/11/2018 14:00

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Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

By SharpDressedMan - 13/11/2018 06:00 - United States - Leesburg

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Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 15:30

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Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

By HagFag - 10/11/2018 14:00

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Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple times after school. FML

By Detroitman125 - 10/11/2018 03:00

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Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

By Liz0352 - 8/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

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Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML

By sicko - 7/11/2018 18:30 - Egypt

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Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML

By Anonymous - 5/11/2018 15:30

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Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML

By Detroitman125 - 30/10/2018 17:30

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Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

By Fangirl#1 - 29/10/2018 22:10

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Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

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