Your grandfather is a legend!
Tad cruel though :P

but where did he get the leaf?

55- I am sure OP has a tree somewhere near his/her house.

55- my guess, is the OP's grandfather, found the leaf, on a tree or a shrub. Radical thinking, I know, but it could be true.

60- what are these treacherous ideas you are trying to spread? Leaf?! Trees!?

What are these "trees" you speak of

59- I feel bad for you son i got 99 problems and sandy ain't one

60- I think, you used, too many, commas,.

Slip him a nickel back under the door and tell him to buy some toilet paper with it and to to buy himself something nice with the change.

85- I, don't, give, a, fuck.

LOL one of my favs fml xD

Grandparents: always there to remind us how "spoiled" they think we are.

In my family, grandparents are there to spoil us.

In Soviet Russia, leaf slides grandpa under door.

What about Soviet Russia?

Your grandpop had a sense of humor, FUCK MY LIFE...

In your grandfather's times they probably didn't have penicillin either. You better hope he's not your primary caretaker next time you get an infection.

Penicillin's been used since the 1940's, so it probably was around "in his day".

87- well acc to Wikipedia, toilet paper was already quite popular by the turn of the century so Grandpa must be oooooold.

He should've given you a page from a Playboy Magazine since catalogs were used as toilet paper back in the day.

If OP is a boy that would just distract him from his original goal, though. :)

It'll occupy him long enough that someone else might cone along and give him some real toilet paper.

I'm scared to know where he lived back then...

On earth. :|

Near a tree.

Super absorbent! :D

How the hell did you not notice there was no paper before you sat down? That's Restroom Rule #1 - ALWAYS check for toilet paper before you sit.

I think we all know what #2 is...

Read FML?

You've never, ever used the bathroom only to find out the toilet paper is gone?

Unfortunately, I've had that happen before. I think I just expect TP to be readily available at all times, since it usually is.

Well, I don't think OP will be forgetting that golden rule again :P

11 - you read it. That's what the FML is about; him/her breaking rule #1.

28- I believe Welshite was saying Rule #2 is to "read FML".

I can say that I don't always look for TP when I use the restroom. At least not in my own house. The only time I absolutely make sure there is some is when I'm in a public restroom.

11- It was a pun. Rule #2 >>> #2 in the bathroom.

We buy toilet paper in bulk and keep the extras in the bathroom, under the sink. I'm confused as to why people would store their toilet paper someplace other than the bathroom. Where else would you need it?

Oh docbastard, Don't act like you never waddled across the house with your pants and undies around your ankles to retrieve another roll of toilet paper.

~Sings~ Do the walk, baby do the walk of shame. Do tee tee do do dooo doo.

Certainly sage advice, but we've all had that time when we felt that our insides would empty their contents into our trousers, and the last thing on our minds was "toilet paper."

Those are usually bad days.

Unfortunately, I always forget that rule and end up waddling down the stairs with my pants half off to get some.

Rule #2 is to take your smartphone so you don't get bored. It's been all over the Internet in memes lately - First World Problems/ Bad Luck Brian etc when it comes to forgetting your phone and needing a dump.

I misunderstood. Sorry Welshite.
All I can say now is... Well, shit.

I always need toilet paper in the attic. So I store it in the garage.

Not even the Charmin bears use leaves. Sorry op. going green is tough.

Where did he get the leaf from?

Poison ivy bush!

The yard?

A tree...

He pulled it out of his own fucking arse.

...Did you seriously need to ask that? What is the world coming to!?