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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (1684)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (3851)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (26820)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (1520)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (1780)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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