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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

#21056297
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (19551)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by Shooting myself - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37820) - you deserved it (4332)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (4614)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (12700)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (19723)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (4250)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

#21069128
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (7755)

On 02/23/2014 at 3:10am - animals - by dsamanthas - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

#21062479
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (6494)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37108) - you deserved it (3173)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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