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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you deserved it (4771)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (3357)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

#21062398
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (3781)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

#21066280
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (4882)

On 02/20/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

#21046497
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (5880)

On 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by IceQueen - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (6971)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

#21056297
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (21042)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by Shooting myself - United States (Illinois)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

#21067848
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (4856)

On 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm - work - by ashamedklutz (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39910) - you deserved it (3710)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States



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