Intimacy: Dirty dancing

Dirty dancing

By Dumbfuck - 25/09/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 759

You deserved it 26 666

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Same thing different taste

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 525

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 694

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 9 193

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 722

You deserved it 439

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 838

You deserved it 5 813

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 792

You deserved it 5 500

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

lrb081 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:46

a bit of advice: there is NOTHING sexy about that dance move. period.

Glam_fml 0

Friday 25 September 2009 15:15

Men dancing is rarely ever sexy.

Comments

giiiiinge 0

Friday 25 September 2009 12:16

first! only joking, that's annoying :L but yeah, kinda FYL for the ball-pain, but kinda YDI for trying to dance sexily when you clearly aren't. :)

isodufff 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 19:08

oh man. that's amazing.

mrguy266 0

Monday 19 April 2010 6:32

OP that's called grinding retard...

PsYcHoSOADLaDy 0

Friday 25 September 2009 12:42

Note To Self: Never Try That Again... Way To Go!!! Lol YSoooooDI

Vincanety 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 11:05

don't put capitals for every word idiot

mastory96 0

Friday 25 September 2009 13:32

well, look at his name. it fits, don't it? next time--practice. :)

CrunkCupcake97 2

Friday 25 September 2009 13:35

that sounds like a retarded dance.

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:04

thats why I just don't dance

lrb081 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:46

a bit of advice: there is NOTHING sexy about that dance move. period.

Glam_fml 0

Friday 25 September 2009 15:15

Men dancing is rarely ever sexy.

DynamicDave 11

Friday 25 September 2009 15:30

haha did she laugh?

kibbleznbitz0 0

Friday 25 September 2009 17:20

its called thrust. haha that sucks though. did she kiss them for you? ;P

emilygirl14 0

Friday 25 September 2009 17:31

I've never heard of anything remotely as stupid as that.

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I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 118

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I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 2 515

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 85

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 982

You deserved it 53 802

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I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 270

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 498

You deserved it 5 212

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I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 1 900

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 299

You deserved it 5 214