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Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33256) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (3857)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53512) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

#3084574
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/21/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (3857)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

#6379949
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (3857)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML

#18305013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/21/2011 at 2:22am - love - by nightowl506 - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

#21162885
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/04/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by Off_Road (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (3857)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

#17379762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States



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