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Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (3684)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

#13740826
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (3683)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19525) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)



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