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Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (3398)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

#7643965
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML

#15581921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32084) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45941) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (3395)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51353) - you deserved it (3395)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States



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