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Wednesday 9 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (12456)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (10975)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

#21209168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (3419)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm - work - by AFH2O - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (4402)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30564) - you deserved it (15805)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (12695)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41665) - you deserved it (3622)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (4936)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
176 comments

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (7797)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)



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