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Saturday 6 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (6054)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51662) - you deserved it (5623)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (19300)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (43526)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (4120)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44140) - you deserved it (3091)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (45909)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (46866)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (4756)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML



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