By welcome to the neighborhood - United States - Silver Spring Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 11544 You deserved it 1803 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 11:02 Great quality control Today, I got a job! When they sent me the offer letter, I sent it back ASAP after being satisfied with the salary and benefits. My problem? I wrote that I'd accepted the wrong position (in the interview it went by different names) The irony? I'm supposed to be in QC, ie., I'm supposed to have a keen eye for errors. FML I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 717 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shecrieseverytimeIremindher - United States - Oregon City Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 13658 You deserved it 1600 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 74867 You deserved it 5358 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/8/2020 17:09 I'm lovin' it Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML I agree, your life sucks 1416 You deserved it 103 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML I agree, your life sucks 1384 You deserved it 476 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VampiresSayRawr - Canada Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML I agree, your life sucks 98435 You deserved it 9755 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ArtistBlock Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML I agree, your life sucks 9364 You deserved it 6088 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miss_Kat Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML I agree, your life sucks 1429 You deserved it 125 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vikts - Luxembourg - Olm Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 23184 You deserved it 1926 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aireeahna - United States - Cedar Rapids Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML I agree, your life sucks 14982 You deserved it 1062 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ali - Sri Lanka - Colombo Today, my father cut my hair for the first time. Now, I always have to wear a cap when I go outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 5428 You deserved it 852 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blakeintheoffice - United States Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML I agree, your life sucks 34381 You deserved it 3703 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notmuchfun - United States Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML I agree, your life sucks 48325 You deserved it 4660 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MisterMisinformed - Canada Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML I agree, your life sucks 7948 You deserved it 57192 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML I agree, your life sucks 32509 You deserved it 8818 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stevejobs Today, after realizing I had 130 unused vacation hours, I requested two weeks off. My vacation time was denied, but my boss still gave me the time off. So I don't have work for 2 weeks, all unpaid. FML I agree, your life sucks 3003 You deserved it 187 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By openmouthinsertfoot - United Kingdom Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML I agree, your life sucks 13565 You deserved it 41628 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Josie Stiger - 19/3/2020 05:00 Denied Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML I agree, your life sucks 1461 You deserved it 252 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML I agree, your life sucks 13159 You deserved it 796 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Really - United States - Middletown Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML I agree, your life sucks 27611 You deserved it 2986 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "syd_the_kidd_9707" Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML I agree, your life sucks 2212 You deserved it 184 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unloved - United States Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 76831 You deserved it 8676 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By single once again - Cyprus - Nicosia Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML I agree, your life sucks 30282 You deserved it 2589 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itsellie27 - United Kingdom - London Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML I agree, your life sucks 26145 You deserved it 46724 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By photofaint - United Kingdom Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27180 You deserved it 3610 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML I agree, your life sucks 382614 You deserved it 35975 299 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By confused_lemon Should be interesting at the office tomorrow… Today, I got thrown out by a guy I really like, with the words "Can you leave me the fuck alone, please?" I took my stuff and left as quickly as I could, just to fall down the stairs on his doorway and twist my ankle really bad. He's someone from work as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 1544 You deserved it 592 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By p!$$3D0FF - Australia Today, I bought a pair of new speakers for my comp. I forgot I had installed various volume enhancing programs and also maxed out all sound settings. I connected the new speakers and played some music. The sound destroyed them. FML I agree, your life sucks 8904 You deserved it 31466 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By off the family Today, my daughter apparently have had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing at me by going: "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point." She's 7. FML I agree, your life sucks 3322 You deserved it 361 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuglymug - United States - Appleton Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML I agree, your life sucks 26361 You deserved it 2335 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thanks Santa Today, 3 weeks after leaving my job, buying a larger car and moving to Ohio so my boyfriend could be near his family, he secretly drove my car and all my belongings back across several states just to break up with me. This was completely out of the blue while I was home visiting family for Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 8452 You deserved it 553 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 1fungi Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 34937 You deserved it 5402 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rusrs - United Kingdom Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML I agree, your life sucks 26316 You deserved it 2209 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thenewgirl - United States - Jacksonville Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 36991 You deserved it 3870 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By naomids - United States Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML I agree, your life sucks 37147 You deserved it 3002 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noname - Canada Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 36363 You deserved it 13758 266 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 2512 You deserved it 1302 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Louisville Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 45383 You deserved it 3926 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BurnedByAWaiter Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML I agree, your life sucks 41060 You deserved it 8259 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML I agree, your life sucks 10426 You deserved it 56708 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnidentifiedFun | 37 #6592290 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:22 Don't worry, at least it's not possible for them to make you pay for it. Send a private message 98 6 Reply
By Hunter_the_Ninja | 22 #6592284 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:18 Depending on how long they've been your neighbors, couldn't it just be a coincidence? Send a private message 79 4 Reply
By Goblin182 | 26 #6592275 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:16 Good fences make for good neighbors. Send a private message 37 3 Reply
By Fuaaad1994 | 31 #6592277 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:16 Is Donald trump your neighbour? Send a private message 47 22 Reply
Reply MikaykayUnicorn | 36 #6592708 - Friday 29 April 2016 23:49 We need to build a fence! Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Reply Bonafonte | 24 #6592710 - Friday 29 April 2016 23:52 I was gonna say the same thing! :') Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply Al_Quadea17 | 12 #6592751 - Saturday 30 April 2016 1:19 thats exactly what I was thinking Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply hacksaw246 | 24 #6592857 - Saturday 30 April 2016 4:00 Make the neighborhood great again! Send a private message 19 0 Reply
By jacobmc123 | 18 #6592278 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:16 Trump 2016 Send a private message 4 25 Reply
By Standupmast3r | 18 #6592279 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:16 Do you live next to Donald Trump? Send a private message 13 27 Reply
Reply Mike3258 | 18 #6592997 - Saturday 30 April 2016 7:25 I don't understand why you got down voted while the other guy got upvoted. makes no sense... Send a private message 12 1 Reply
By Hunter_the_Ninja | 22 #6592284 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:18 Depending on how long they've been your neighbors, couldn't it just be a coincidence? Send a private message 79 4 Reply
Reply confused_wandere | 26 #6592285 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:18 deleted Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Nik5345 | 13 #6592289 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:20 Did they make you pay for it? Send a private message 6 17 Reply
By UnidentifiedFun | 37 #6592290 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:22 Don't worry, at least it's not possible for them to make you pay for it. Send a private message 98 6 Reply
Reply xx000o | 27 #6592659 - Friday 29 April 2016 21:49 Unfortunately in some states they can, Maryland being one of them. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Reply lexos | 16 #6593049 - Saturday 30 April 2016 9:01 #43 how is that possible? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By jessreallysucks | 19 #6592296 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:29 maybe they had a good reason? when we moved house we had to put a fence in because our dogs are prone to running out the front door and out onto the road. maybe they need it? Send a private message 49 0 Reply
Reply Seriphe | 16 #6593402 - Saturday 30 April 2016 22:56 My thoughts exactly. It's probably not you, OP. The could have kids, pets, be planning a garden, or be super private people. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By arandomperson97 | 18 #6592301 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:40 And after your neighbors read this FML, you can bet that the fence will get 10 feet higher. Send a private message 7 9 Reply
Reply ABlindMan | 17 #6592576 - Friday 29 April 2016 20:07 That's assuming instantly that they dislike OP and that their neighborhood would actually allow ~16 feet high fences (Assuming it's a neighborhood) Send a private message 3 2 Reply
Reply frankmz | 17 #6593236 - Saturday 30 April 2016 18:14 Man, this is funny. But you're getting down votes. That sucks. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By bwayjunkie | 1 #6592303 - Friday 29 April 2016 14:48 Maybe they have/want to get a dog? Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my... I agree, your life sucks 61 You deserved it 191 2 Comments
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 836 You deserved it 64 4 Comments