Love: Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with...

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 355

You deserved it 61 094

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 813

You deserved it 1 283

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 236

You deserved it 7 137

By Teddy Bear - 12/01/2019 16:00

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 563

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 100

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 228

You deserved it 1 146

Honesty

By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 466

You deserved it 35 398

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 564

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 396

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 794

By needurlove - 15/04/2012 06:49 - United States - Sandpoint

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 018

You deserved it 48 115

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

Comments

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

xXCrazyPersonXx 0

Monday 12 April 2010 1:34

OP is the Pedobear...

abbi96x 0

Friday 14 May 2010 13:17

OMG. Pedophile! Damn you anti-flood.

Raceta 5

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Neilish 15

Monday 25 October 2010 8:23

I like the fancy vocabulary OP used, enamored, encountered, petite etc.

brave_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:05

gaby904 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:06

Maybe you're attracted to petite women because you DO like little girls! :-)

whocaresfylfml 0

Monday 25 July 2011 5:42

makes sense

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

fcukstylez 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:08

haha atleast you didnt say "i tend to only have sexual realationshios with little girls" haha

finnaaas 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:08

Haha, wow! Nice creeper :)

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

LAME Let me guess, your friends looked at you and said "WTF?" and you explained yourself in about 7 words right? This FML is retarded.

crazyjack 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

Woaah smooth move there buddy :'D

cody12341 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:13

Lets hope she does'nt have a daughter

kookysoc 11

Thursday 1 March 2012 2:25

Lmaoooooooo

Keywords

Cute Love Music Gross TMI Coworkers Work Racism Scary Customers Kids Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Ironic Social Media Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 705

You deserved it 5 785

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 4 391

The Top

Today, I faked a burglar alarm to see what my sleeping husband would do. The instant he thought a burglar was in the house, I thought he'd yell out for me and come looking. Nope, he yelled out for his limited edition Air Jordans, and ran into his office to check if any were missing. Priorities, I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 998

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 373

You deserved it 3 621

Today, during an argument between me and my boyfriend, he called for his mom. She came up and told us both off and told us to stop screaming, as if we were kids. We are both well over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 61

Today, after having toothaches for about two years, which persisted even after I had the crack in my tooth repaired, I went to a different dentist and it turns out that the actual culprit is a hole in the neighboring tooth, which has had years to grow, unnoticed under the edge of my gums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 67

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 335

You deserved it 4 629

Same thing different taste

No

Honesty

She definitely heard

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