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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62528) - you deserved it (4345)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44914) - you deserved it (21261)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65157) - you deserved it (6709)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57919) - you deserved it (8984)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (10933)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (67657) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (4025) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68618) - you deserved it (3755)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54926) - you deserved it (8160)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51508) - you deserved it (11677)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79922) - you deserved it (7312)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58648) - you deserved it (5710)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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