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By sarahxHx - 14/07/2015 06:42 - United States - Laguna Niguel

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 048

You deserved it 11 723

sarahxHx tells us more.

sarahxHx 10

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:32

Hey it's OP. We stood there for a good 5 seconds until he realized it was actually me. He sincerely apologized and he said he hope it didn't offend me. He's a really nice guy and I'm happy to be dating him! :) We went hiking that morning. And for those saying I wear too much makeup on, I don't. I simply have super light eyebrows and eyelashes, and girls here would understand that doing your eyebrows and putting on black mascara makes a HUGE difference. For my face, I only wear a light coverage tinted moisturizer. You're all so quick to judge. SMH.

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 273

You deserved it 6 570

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:41 - United States - Greeley

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 762

You deserved it 6 895

Alas, poor little dude

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, my six year-old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 769

You deserved it 44 736

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 327

You deserved it 49 633

By lynn - 22/06/2012 16:14 - Australia - Bongaree

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 364

You deserved it 2 126

Tickle time

By sarahbeth93 - 20/07/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 208

You deserved it 76 462

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 464

You deserved it 37 416

Thanks guys

By MCRxforever - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 211

You deserved it 3 710

Parked out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 20:41 - Canada

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 282

You deserved it 5 079

By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 029

You deserved it 6 349

By User - 23/09/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 985

You deserved it 6 696

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 17:47 - Canada

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 633

You deserved it 16 136

By brianfantana32 - 12/09/2012 04:24 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 629

You deserved it 26 836

brianfantana32 tells us more.

brianfantana32 10

Wednesday 12 September 2012 16:14

This. This is more of a morality issue than a legal issue. I didn't take it word for word (even though that's hard to do since it's a video game and not a book), I just used the concept.

By katt_is_here - 02/10/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 805

You deserved it 4 155

katt_is_here tells us more.

katt_is_here 24

Monday 3 October 2011 6:02

Clarification time I guess. The wig was still in the bag as it was at the store. The pimp cane was another item sold at the store. I chose brevity in the FML for impact. No pun intended. I should add that I was dressed as zombie Amy Winehouse at the time so I had a horrible beehive wig on. It was a very interesting evening.