By Spooprfailed - 08/04/2014 05:32 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 437
You deserved it 65 815

Spooprfailed tells us more.

Spooprfailed 7

Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions! 1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because... 2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth. The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts). And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911

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RedPillSucks 31

Smooth move mood killer

Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.


RedPillSucks 31

Smooth move mood killer

ThatOneGuy719 16

Hell yeah man, I bet it gets all the ladies

OP is really into Rape Sloth quotes.

Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.

classiceagle63 16

Well, clothes are technically weight..

You could've tried to say that you meant the weight of her clothes ;)

This may seem a bit random, (probably from my sleep deprivation, sorry y'all) but generally peoples' clothing only adds 2-6 lbs., so if you actually lost 2-6 lbs. of weight on your body, it wouldn't be that noticeable... just like gaining that amount of weight: not really noticeable.

94: Well if you are severely overweight, then 5 pounds won't make a difference. If you are in pretty good shape (or happen to be really short)...Unfortunately, 5 pounds can be very noticeable

shanebob 15

That might be the worst comment i've ever seen on here.

second worst. 'Your bad' would top it.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

And then the off switch was hit...queue the flying shoe at the man's face

I believe this is what one might call a Freudian Slip.

MLardinos 14

A what?

I prefer to call it, "Autocorrect in real life."

This apology is beyond flowers. Looks like you will be making a trip to the jewelry store.

I'd take chocolate over jewelry but I feel like for this particular apology, that probably wouldn't go over well.

ManicGypsy 22

I came here to post just that. Jewelry is required in situations such as these. The more expensive, the better. Chocolate would probably work, but might send the wrong message. A dozen long stem roses might help too.

"He went to Jareds!" *Gollum pic*

well... how'd that turn out for ya?