By Spooprfailed - 08/04/2014 05:32 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 428
You deserved it 65 781

Spooprfailed tells us more.

Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions! 1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because... 2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth. The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts). And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911

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Smooth move mood killer

Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.


Smooth move mood killer

Hell yeah man, I bet it gets all the ladies

OP is really into Rape Sloth quotes.

Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.

Well, clothes are technically weight..

You could've tried to say that you meant the weight of her clothes ;)

This may seem a bit random, (probably from my sleep deprivation, sorry y'all) but generally peoples' clothing only adds 2-6 lbs., so if you actually lost 2-6 lbs. of weight on your body, it wouldn't be that noticeable... just like gaining that amount of weight: not really noticeable.

94: Well if you are severely overweight, then 5 pounds won't make a difference. If you are in pretty good shape (or happen to be really short)...Unfortunately, 5 pounds can be very noticeable

That might be the worst comment i've ever seen on here.

second worst. 'Your bad' would top it.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

And then the off switch was hit...queue the flying shoe at the man's face

I believe this is what one might call a Freudian Slip.

I prefer to call it, "Autocorrect in real life."

This apology is beyond flowers. Looks like you will be making a trip to the jewelry store.

I'd take chocolate over jewelry but I feel like for this particular apology, that probably wouldn't go over well.

ManicGypsy 22

I came here to post just that. Jewelry is required in situations such as these. The more expensive, the better. Chocolate would probably work, but might send the wrong message. A dozen long stem roses might help too.

"He went to Jareds!" *Gollum pic*

well... how'd that turn out for ya?