Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
Spooprfailed tells us more.
Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions! 1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because... 2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth. The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts). And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Smooth move mood killer
Welshite 40
Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.
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Comments (150)
RedPillSucks 33
Smooth move mood killer
ThatOneGuy719 16
Hell yeah man, I bet it gets all the ladies
thefastnfuryass 14
OP is really into Rape Sloth quotes.
Welshite 40
Uh huh. Suuure you did. People tell me I need to lose clothes all the time, but they really mean weight.
Credibleskills 28
What a turn off XD
nyctophobia 5
no really?
classiceagle63 16
Well, clothes are technically weight..
Konain 12
You could've tried to say that you meant the weight of her clothes ;)
MichelleRuzicka 15
This may seem a bit random, (probably from my sleep deprivation, sorry y'all) but generally peoples' clothing only adds 2-6 lbs., so if you actually lost 2-6 lbs. of weight on your body, it wouldn't be that noticeable... just like gaining that amount of weight: not really noticeable.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
94: Well if you are severely overweight, then 5 pounds won't make a difference. If you are in pretty good shape (or happen to be really short)...Unfortunately, 5 pounds can be very noticeable
thefrenchenglish 6
you are bad
shanebob 15
That might be the worst comment i've ever seen on here.
daminantion 14
second worst. 'Your bad' would top it.
Wuff 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Smooth
xXLotSoJelloXx 7
And then the off switch was hit...queue the flying shoe at the man's face
name_loading 19
I believe this is what one might call a Freudian Slip.
MLardinos 14
A what?
BootheGhost 6
I prefer to call it, "Autocorrect in real life."
asparagus12 21
This apology is beyond flowers. Looks like you will be making a trip to the jewelry store.
negb 30
I'd take chocolate over jewelry but I feel like for this particular apology, that probably wouldn't go over well.
ManicGypsy 22
I came here to post just that. Jewelry is required in situations such as these. The more expensive, the better. Chocolate would probably work, but might send the wrong message. A dozen long stem roses might help too.
BootheGhost 6
"He went to Jareds!" *Gollum pic*
Secret_Ninjaa 35
well... how'd that turn out for ya?