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Takes one to know one

By ironic driver - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 4 696

Impressive

By authorsubmit - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 948

You deserved it 48 107

Nice try, kiddo

By AvengedSevenX - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 057

You deserved it 25 769

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 934

You deserved it 4 420

Great timing

By panickygrl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 904

You deserved it 4 050

I'm only sleeping

By need sleep - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 2 388

I got skills

By supergirl7 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 605

You deserved it 8 776

Antiques roadshow

By TukTuk - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Germany - Weinböhla

Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out… a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 5 153

Running late, or early?

By bkeiya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Japan

Today, I saw my train pulling into the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been to. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 818

You deserved it 15 160

Thanks, that's great

By Greattitan2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Beaufort

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 837

You deserved it 1 951

Hard pass

By Jessica - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 434

You deserved it 2 203

Technique

By steph - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Helotes

Today, I was trying to go for a number two while drying my hair so that my boyfriend wouldn't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 400

You deserved it 2 861

Party time!

By trbaby - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 050

You deserved it 584

Don't freak out

By spoton - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 037

You deserved it 956

Moving on

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex found out that I didn't cheat on her and apologized. I forgave her but now she wants me to leave my fiancee and get back together with her. She won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 62

The Times They Are A-Changin'

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I thought of this website for the first time in like 15 years. I wanted to laugh but now people just post actual sad shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 138

For crying out loud

By janeygurl - 18/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was driving when the light in front of me turned yellow and I didn't know what to do, so I braked and ended up halfway in the intersection, blocking the turn lane. A guy who was turning slammed on his brakes and started beeping and yelling. I panicked, hit the gas, ran off the road into a drainage pond, and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 570

Healthy relationship goals

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Wichita

Today, I learned that my girlfriend of 5 months blocked me and said I was stalking her, and that I was weird. She also let her friends make jokes about my hair, even after all the gifts. I was planning on asking her to homecoming, but now she’s letting some other guy ask her and won’t even tell me who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 281

Family way

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I have four daughters in high school. All four announced they are pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 288

Careful, not carefree

By Anonymous - 20/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 66

Touch me I'm sick

By f u stomach flu - 20/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Poway

Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 227

Never again

By Out bitch - 18/09/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after much begging, I let my girlfriend try out my VR headset, despite knowing that she's quite clumsy. Five minutes later, she fell over and broke it. Later, I heard her laughing on the phone about breaking her boyfriend's stupid video game toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 104

Body issues

By Dating sucks - 22/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, a guy I know asked me out after me losing 75lbs. I declined because I don’t want to be with someone who only wants me for my body. I asked him, “Where was this energy two years ago when I was 75lbs heavier?” He replied, “Can you blame me?” And people wonder why us women choose the bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 254

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I tripped and fell down some stairs at a family gathering. Instead of making sure I was OK, everyone laughed at me. Including my quadriplegic uncle, who asked his personal support worker to lift his arm just so he could point and laugh with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 61

Closure reopened

By Imdoomed - 17/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I’m pregnant just a few weeks after our wedding. I have no idea who the father is because before my wedding I had closure sex with my ex. He’s an olive-color skin tone Latino. My husband is white Caucasian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 491

Snitched

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, at my new job, my coworkers pranked me by moving around the things on my desk. I was horribly upset by it and reported them all to HR. Now no one will talk to me and I'm the office pariah within my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 732

Found an out

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband filed for divorce because he discovered that we're actually fourth cousins. I tried to insist that means absolutely nothing, but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 74

Welcome back!

By SWCC - 19/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to be greeted by my mother-in-law by cussing me out for missing out on events and milestones in both my wife and two year-old daughter's life. She would never listen to "lame reasons", despite the fact that I just came back from a 13 month deployment. So, being a soldier makes me a bad father? FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 122

Wild ride

By I'm not like that - 18/09/2026 00:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I got sick with a high fever. My boyfriend was so sweet and attentive, which I loved, until he said he wanted sex while I was feverish. Apparently, "fucking a girl who's running a fever feels amazing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 59

A lot to take in

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I learned three things. 1.) My boyfriend has a side chick. 2.) He's leaving me for her because she's pregnant. 3.) They're moving into the apartment building across from mine, and my bedroom window faces theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 49

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The Top

Random

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 086

You deserved it 31 082

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 861

You deserved it 6 432

Today, my dad muttered something about the snow in Texas being fake, caused by 5G. I didn't take the bait, because it made a change from natural disasters being caused by my "homosexual life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 175

Today, my lovely ex-mother-in-law died and now my ex has stopped talking to me. I found out through a mutual friend that we only had an amicable divorce in case his mother had left me money in her will, but now he’s got all her money, he didn’t even take time to invite me to the funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 162

Today, I had another phone call with my mother; she has rapid onset dementia, and never gets my name right anymore. Already terrible, but she consistently calls me by my abusive ex-partner’s name instead of my own, so I get double trauma. Obviously F her life, but also FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 106

Today, I found my ex on Bumble for the second time. She lives with her husband, whom she married a decade ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 98