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Delivery!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I dropped it off as usual, but my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6-year-old patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132 123

You deserved it 8 350

New to me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 330

You deserved it 5 828

Quite the hobby

By chellegbelle - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Graham

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 678

You deserved it 4 000

Hollaback girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 532

You deserved it 37 800

First date, first impressions

By ragingwaffles - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Chico

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 562

You deserved it 3 955

Hello goodbye

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, and just signed the lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 883

You deserved it 1 979

Nice

By oh, shit...... - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Denmark - Bagsværd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 749

You deserved it 2 043

WTF dude?

By Wilhelm - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 299

You deserved it 1 547

Pure entertainment

By embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 981

You deserved it 3 465

Help!

By 2for1 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 212

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 034

You deserved it 1 130

Hello?

By littl3storm - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 224

Repetition

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 402

Nature ain't all that great

By Beaten by deer - 18/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 992

Trickery

By Patryce - 15/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, my doctor inadvertently let the cat out of the bag that I don’t have cancer in front of my husband. I’d told him I had cancer to stop him from leaving me for his colleague who he’s absolutely moonstruck over. When we got home, he gave me the silent treatment. He went out and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 256

You have been warned

By stay away from my balls! - 16/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 128

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 287

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 458

Gamers explain

By Anonymous - 14/04/2026 18:00 - United States - La Grande

Today, I'm trying to use a cheat code in a (singleplayer) game and the code doesn't work. So now I gotta go down to a game hacking server I'm in and make a Action Replay code request, something I am absolutely not a fan of doing. I'd make the code myself but I failed at that, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 491

Worst friend

By Cass - 20/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 684

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 52

Lower your expectations

By Aghha - 17/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 237

The Unmatchmaker

By Anonymous - 16/04/2026 05:00 - United States

Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 593

Many such cases?

By Why Universe? Why!? - 20/04/2026 06:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 53

Rage

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 100

Smoke em if you've got em

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I miss drugs and now I'm depressed, and now the world is fucked so there is no other option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 309

I hate surprises

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 332

Epic fury

By Eek - 15/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband discovered a big wasp nest on the porch. Rather than spray it, he decided to suck up the wasps with the vacuum. He also did not empty it. I can see the still living wasps buzzing furiously inside the vacuum chamber and I'm scared to touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 88

Anger management

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 680

Leave it to the specialists

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I tried to fix a leaky pipe after watching a tutorial. I turned what I thought was the main valve to cut the water, loosened the pipe, and immediately got sprayed in the face. In my panic, I tightened it wrong and made it worse. I had to call a plumber while standing in a puddle, holding a towel against the pipe like that was helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 228

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The Top

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 062

You deserved it 3 702

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She's claiming it was rape and is going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 093

You deserved it 4 030

Today, my boss told me that due to a colleague resigning, I have to do some of her job until they find a replacement. I asked if I’ll be getting compensated for the extra work/time, and he said no because of budget issues. I said that wasn’t fair. He responded, “Well, life ain’t fair, get used to it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 182

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my girlfriend's father. He screenshotted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 3 054

Today, my neighbour is a doctor and has a 2 year-old son. He has a stomach infection and has been crying non stop day and night for a week now. The woman is not taking him to the hospital or giving him medicines, because it's "just diarrhea" and will "go away." The crying is driving me mad. I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 63

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 089

You deserved it 7 512