By Anonymous - 19/04/2012 04:46 - United States - Sparks

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 877
You deserved it 4 643

Same thing different taste

Top comments

But aquarium gravel is tough and gritty! If your novel is a mystery, I think that was a great compliment. Wait a's also really disgusting and slimy and smells like dead fish...

Aquarium gravel? Sniffing boot polish? In that case, I suggest you write erotic literature instead..


Dexxter_fml 4

Incentive to write a better one? Maybe, I dunno, just maybe consider tusche aping it and starting over?

N9ne_ZxxZxxZ_ 3

maybe op just struggles to write a novel when they cant come up with the ideas? I was one of the better painters in my art class, but one I the least productive students (info from my art teacher, also I had never taken art prior)

nikkiruth94 8

What's op mean? Lol but yes you sir have a good point(:

Ferretface 13

Orthoscopic Platypus. Everybody else is dead wrong.

Dexxter_fml 4

Scrapping* New phone, new dictionary. :S Sorry 'bout the confusion!

fuckmebutdontfml 16
fuckmebutdontfml 16

But aquarium gravel is tough and gritty! If your novel is a mystery, I think that was a great compliment. Wait a's also really disgusting and slimy and smells like dead fish...

Da_Bauss435 8

I know something else that smells like fish too...

29- your breath? ---waits for highly possible offended/mean retorts aimed to insult back... By anyone...---

Colonel_Lexi 18

It can't be as bad as "My Immortal".

OP- wow. If you where a girl and lived in ( place that I won't describe), you could have been a teacher of mine One thing is different about hers from yours: her friends liked it. Sorry, OP.

Da_Bauss435 8

34- sorry, but I haven't brushed my teeth in a while

That's probably the best and your only chance at an honest critique.

Marcella1016 31

There's constructive criticism and then there's being a douche. I'm pretty sure OP's friends fall into that second category. No need to be that harsh - while it was funny it was really mean. Believe it or not, it is possible to tell the truth with a bit of tact.

That sounds like a poor excuse for critique. Critiques are typically detailed and specific, as well as analytical. Comparing something to aquarium gravel when asked for a critique is just mean and not at all honest.

Did they at least point out that you can't properly construct a sentence? Maybe try one that doesn't end with a preposition.

They're probably just jealous. Have faith in yourself OP! If it's actually not very good, just change it, but don't give up

No, they're being good friends and not lying to OP.

Mommyof2_91 10

I think good friends would have worded it better... They were kinda being dicks. GOOD friends wouldn't compare it to aquarium gravel, they would tell OP it needs work, or that they don't think being an author is OP's thing. The way they put it was just rude and pretty ignorant in my opinion

I too have written a book. It's bloody hard work, but wow what a total buzz writing is! I loved writing my book!! Problem is - getting it published. That's even harder!! I think you should maybe get an agent to look it over. Your friends comments were not very helpful. Don't give up!!

Aquarium gravel? Sniffing boot polish? In that case, I suggest you write erotic literature instead..

fuckmebutdontfml 16

Or at least scripts for Charlie the Unicorn

Lightcrusade 9

Smoke some bud, it will get those creative juices flowing.

siickman 7

Idk why people are thumbing you down... I dont smoke weed oftenly but people thumbing you down have only heard of bad affects of weed ... Thats probably what it is.... I have smoked weed like three times so i cant really say much.... But i do know weed is bad for you but its not horrible... People need to calm down about it...

25 - Drugs are bad. Mkay? Not too difficult to understand that ******* simple logic. Some people don't mind them, some people can't abide them. I don't mind them, but I stay the **** away from people that use them. They are bad, bad people and as Uncle Touchy always said, bad people do more then just "touch".

And your proper use of spelling and grammar attests to that, 25. Form a coherent argument, then get back to us.

Can someone tell me where in this galaxy 'oftenly' is a word? I'm dying to know.

43, not all drug users are bad people. Some ate sad looking for happiness and a lot are just regular people who delve into that side of the world. I don't use drugs, but I think it's very stereotypical to say they're all bad people.

Shannon - CryMore was speaking in hyperbole. Can we PLEASE not start another weed war? I'm still fighting the same war from last week with some asshat stoner over PMs. I just done have the energy.

siickman 7

Lol omg you guys have nothing to say so you correct shit you understand... I use dots because i just dont like commas... If you understand my point then dont correct me ... You are all just pathetic nazis that think they are the shit because they can spell and be grammaticly correct all the time... Unless im writing an essay i dont give three ***** how i write

Oh oh oh I want a hissy fit from Alan!! PLEEEAAAASE?? Oh Siickman, PLEASE keep writing like a half-witted nincompoop so Alan will throw a fit! Oh please say you will!

siickman 7

Lol i love being on FML.. It has so many good fights... I dont want to see a hissy fit but im just saying ... I have seen people write like idiots but i am no where close... I just dont write good either ... Sorry for being laid back ... Uptight people ...

siickman 7

I see your point but thats why my logic doesnt work everything but in this case a comma does the same thing as ... Both make you pause for a second ....

Lol, commas and ellipses (or dots, whatever) do not fulfill the same grammatical role. Ellipses are used for an omission of a word or section of writing, or used to understand a continuation of thought.

Both may make you pause, but only one of them makes us pause and say, "The way that guy writes makes him look like a dumbass."

siickman 7

Not how im using it .. Guys just stop it your wasting your time.. Its actually just sad how many people really want it to be 100% correct ... Just relax

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Wow, this was the dumbest argument I've read all day. We've narrowly avoided another angry weed war, and instead went head-first into an education course for someone vehemently defensive of being illiterate.

All because you don't like commas does not mean you can't use just ONE period. You know, end a sentence normally.

siickman 7

............... You are all dumb asses ........................... Like i cant even explain the intensity of all your stupidity ,,,,, im sorry i dont use commas,,,, im sorry i dont live to please you,,,, but i honestly believe you have turned this small case of me being lazy and hating the comma,,, to a ******* lesson ,,,, move on with your life but go see a doctor and take that stick out of all your asses ... Uptight snobby bitches who call out people for fun.... What a shame

siickman 7

Gentle ribbing? I have like 30 people fighting me. Excuse my rudeness but, i just had enough already. I think i might start purposely write like an illiterate son of a bitch just piss people off. Only thing is i wont fight with people about it so i dont cause problems, i just want to see how many people have a stick up their ass. :)

siickman 7

Lol okay you win. Not because i will look like a criminal but because you are funny. Hey before i stop commenting and stop wasting your time, why cant FML member's comments be thumbed? Scared to be judged or so its not thumbed down and hidden?

And your stupid. It's sciencetificly proven weed is not harmful to you body. Okay retard check up on your facts. I've never smoked weed but some of my family does. BECAUSE THEY HAVE GLAUCOMA! So not all people who smoke weed are bad people

25 what are the bad effects of weed physically I'd like to know?

doogy15 11

43 You're a ******* idiot. Don't talk out your ass, people who do drugs aren't all bad people. I used to be a heavy exctasy taker and people loved me. Half of them had no idea till I told them. Don't be a dip shit or close minded.

Hey, according to 94 it's 'sciencetificly proven' that you don't have to smoke weed or be an 'asshat stoner' to make a blundering fool of yourself, online or otherwise. I know plenty of idiots who smoke, true. But some of the most brilliantly hilariously creative people I know also smoke. The reality is that it's not 'good or bad'. It depends on the user. I'm not going to speak for any one side; I can't advocate inhaling anything into your lungs other than air. Here's a chance to grow as a person: do some research, and make an educated decision for yourself. And Alan, Henry Rollins is a hot bitch - and so are you!

OhLohd111 11

I find this entire thread a little... I guess ironic, due to the fact that the actual fml is about writing and idiots.

PrincessPesa - how much research have you actually done on it? Really, how much? Why don't you and forever_born go look at some medical journals about the subject. Specifically read how it has NEVER been "scientifically proven" to be harmless, as forever_born idiotically claimed. In fact, it's quite the opposite: do bronchitis, membranous glonerulonephritis, coronary vasospasm, emphysema, depression, spontaneous pneumothorax, and anxiety sound harmless to you? Go look them up. YES IT HAS SOME MILD BENEFITS, but it's not as harmless as the pot advocates want you to believe.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Uuuugh, just link them to the FML with the weed war. Plenty of educational info to be found from both sides of the fence. This fighting is just ******* retarded now, and it's not even relevant to the FML.

I was only jesting in the second half of my comment... *sniffle*

Vasilisa - You're absolutely correct. I get a bit peeved when people make completely ludicrous statements.

Doc, I have have been misunderstood. I never claimed any of the specific benefits or ills that may result from using marijuana. Maybe it's because I said it's not "good or bad"? I meant that the issue clearly isn't black or white, based on all evidence available. I'm not here to demonize or laud marijuana or anyone else's opinion on the matter. I'm not fighting any weed war, for or against it. My point is that judging a person based on whether or not they use marijuana is closed minded. (Please, no diatribes about legality or health issues). There is no true measure of pot's cultural impact. Many well-loved and quite popular artists have been "pot advocates" at one time or have claimed its benefits in their creative endeavors. There are also many who smoke themselves into oblivion. My comment about research has nothing to do with my own opinions and was not intended to argue anything specific. I was just encouraging people to use their own brains and learn about what they so vehemently defend or oppose.

Okay, I was also using 94 as an example. She doesn't smoke, but her post is a mess- and I was making fun of her saying pot's harmlessness is "sciencetificly proven". So, sorry for all the words but I felt I needed to clarify.

Torva_fml 16

Oh my god!! Did you see that butterfly? Let's transition this stupid argument into... Well... ANYTHING!

Pretty butterfly! Look at it flyi-- ooh! Shiny thing!

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

I gotta admit, "sciencetificly" is something I'd never think anyone over the age of 6 would believe to be a word. It made me laugh my ass off...wait...still does.

That's not critiquing. That's just being rude.

they crossed the line between constructive criticism and being an asshole

KM96 24

Sad - great friends you have … And even if it wasnt that great they should have given constructive feed-back to help.

fuckmebutdontfml 16

soooo I'm guessing nobody else is gonna get to see this masterpiece for a while...