( ! ) Warning: array_key_exists() expects parameter 2 to be array, string given in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Connection.php on line 874
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
80.03822812208ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->hydrateUserVotes( ).../HomeController.php:383
90.03832816120ArticleCMS\DAO\UserArticleVoteDAO->findUserVotes( ).../ArticleDAO.php:799
100.03832817640Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../UserArticleVoteDAO.php:70
110.03922817832array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT article, vote FROM user_article_vote_0 t WHERE user = :userid-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:0;}-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:1;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
80.03822812208ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->hydrateUserVotes( ).../HomeController.php:383
90.03832816120ArticleCMS\DAO\UserArticleVoteDAO->findUserVotes( ).../ArticleDAO.php:799
100.04083089216Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../UserArticleVoteDAO.php:72

( ! ) Warning: array_key_exists() expects parameter 2 to be array, string given in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Connection.php on line 874
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
80.17233433776ArticleCMS\DAO\CommentDAO->hydrateUserReports( ).../HomeController.php:465
90.17243437312ArticleCMS\DAO\UserCommentReportDAO->findUserCommentReports( ).../CommentDAO.php:491
100.17243438800Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../UserCommentReportDAO.php:68
110.17323438992array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT comment FROM user_comment_report t WHERE user = :userid-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:0;}-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:1;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
80.17233433776ArticleCMS\DAO\CommentDAO->hydrateUserReports( ).../HomeController.php:465
90.17243437312ArticleCMS\DAO\UserCommentReportDAO->findUserCommentReports( ).../CommentDAO.php:491
100.17353458680Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../UserCommentReportDAO.php:70

( ! ) Warning: array_key_exists() expects parameter 2 to be array, string given in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Connection.php on line 874
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
81.240512691744ArticleCMS\DAO\CommentDAO->hydrateUserReports( ).../HomeController.php:477
91.240612691744ArticleCMS\DAO\UserCommentReportDAO->findUserCommentReports( ).../CommentDAO.php:491
101.240612693232Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../UserCommentReportDAO.php:68
111.242012693424array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT comment FROM user_comment_report t WHERE user = :userid-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:0;}-a:1:{s:6:"userid";i:1;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
81.240512691744ArticleCMS\DAO\CommentDAO->hydrateUserReports( ).../HomeController.php:477
91.240612691744ArticleCMS\DAO\UserCommentReportDAO->findUserCommentReports( ).../CommentDAO.php:491
101.242412713112Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../UserCommentReportDAO.php:70
FML : Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there...
150
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
Comments
Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

I know I'm just playing to stereotypes here, but I'm itching to say this: Going by your username, being a Redneck, I suppose everyone is fair game to you. Even newb--... ***punches self in mouth***

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Trick is, do things she would normally do. Do dishes, cook, clean, whatever then when she has nothing to do set up a romantic setting and take her to it.

Reply

#91: I don't think OP had sex of any meaningful duration much less quality to qualify it as such - at least at that moment in time, which I would never deprive then of my gf/ wife/ lover.... :-(

Reply

Bad sex is worse than no sex. It's a waste of time. You can use those minutes to do something actually satisfying. Her spouse needs some training. It's not something that can't be fix. On the other hand if he is selfish and doesn't want to fix it because he doesn't care... they have a problem.

Reply

Who knows how long the commercials were. I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually an infomercial break, complete with 60 minutes of why you should buy some piece of shit steamer that has the name of an aggressive sea creature. Sorry OP, maybe you need to stop using AXE bodywash.

Reply

16 - That's what I always tell my girl! That doesn't quite cut it for her though. She calls me "minute rice" :3

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Well there seem to be about a hundered between every two minutes of actually show. And he got a head start lol

well you married him. I'm guessing either this doesn't happen often anyway, or you have already decided to accept it

Loading data…

( ! ) Warning: array_key_exists() expects parameter 2 to be array, string given in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Connection.php on line 874
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
81.245012694168Twig_Environment->render( ).../HomeController.php:489
91.245312713816Twig_Template->render( ).../Environment.php:357
101.245312730408Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
111.245312732176Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
121.245312732176__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
131.245312732872Twig_Template->display( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:33
141.245312733568Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
151.245312733568__TwigTemplate_62adbafd0d82f9ee2653d05c8825bef305bca81011c72c831f3ac2aff03278aa->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
161.309412973584Twig_Template->displayBlock( ).../88272b73979a3744212f9fd60af3354062e36638d464f277b08ea7afb6a0ee00.php:328
171.309412973584__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->block_content( ).../Template.php:203
181.608213282944twig_include( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:749
191.608713286688Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
201.608713303152Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
211.608713303208Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
221.608713303208__TwigTemplate_021e2dc15e8278a207f6f74d4702c6815973c54981c6bbc543e5c2ce92c1cd10->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
231.694713336616twig_include( ).../06abaa79f3118482d6ef427411340f7e6af6c311ce86da27e605bf51057d0b7f.php:154
241.694813340344Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
251.694813356808Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
261.694813356864Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
271.694813356864__TwigTemplate_115885db683883be1d6a478e1a860cfc4f517482b0356ae8e073ed0639527fd8->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
281.696113357936Twig_Template->getAttribute( ).../572684d0d4cf6aa233e52fe4efe3c3bb1a0c4156f9e931256c1e59c5ea441b71.php:50
291.696113357976ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->getPhotoList( ).../Template.php:613
301.696213359104ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->findBy( ).../ArticleDAO.php:1101
311.696213362944Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../ArticleDAO.php:232
321.697613363952array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT DISTINCT(a.id) FROM article a LEFT JOIN art_meta am ON am.articleId = a.id LEFT JOIN vote_type vt ON vt.id = a.voteType LEFT JOIN article_metric AS m ON m.article = a.id WHERE a.siteId = :site AND a.status IN (:status) AND (a.type IN (:type)) ORDER BY datePublish DESC LIMIT 0, 3 -a:19:{s:4:"site";i:2;s:5:"spicy";N;s:7:"nospicy";N;s:5:"cache";b:1;s:8:"reported";N;s:4:"user";N;s:7:"country";N;s:4:"type";a:1:{i:0;i:3;}s:7:"keyword";N;s:6:"before";N;s:5:"after";N;s:14:"created_before";N;s:13:"created_after";N;s:9:"moderated";N;s:4:"expr";N;s:6:"status";a:1:{i:0;i:4;}s:4:"page";a:2:{s:6:"number";i:1;s:6:"bypage";i:3;}s:7:"orderby";a:1:{s:11:"datePublish";s:4:"DESC";}s:5:"count";N;}-a:3:{s:4:"site";i:1;s:6:"status";i:101;s:4:"type";i:101;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01801957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01822048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02682528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02682528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03152775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03152775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
81.245012694168Twig_Environment->render( ).../HomeController.php:489
91.245312713816Twig_Template->render( ).../Environment.php:357
101.245312730408Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
111.245312732176Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
121.245312732176__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
131.245312732872Twig_Template->display( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:33
141.245312733568Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
151.245312733568__TwigTemplate_62adbafd0d82f9ee2653d05c8825bef305bca81011c72c831f3ac2aff03278aa->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
161.309412973584Twig_Template->displayBlock( ).../88272b73979a3744212f9fd60af3354062e36638d464f277b08ea7afb6a0ee00.php:328
171.309412973584__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->block_content( ).../Template.php:203
181.608213282944twig_include( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:749
191.608713286688Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
201.608713303152Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
211.608713303208Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
221.608713303208__TwigTemplate_021e2dc15e8278a207f6f74d4702c6815973c54981c6bbc543e5c2ce92c1cd10->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
231.694713336616twig_include( ).../06abaa79f3118482d6ef427411340f7e6af6c311ce86da27e605bf51057d0b7f.php:154
241.694813340344Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
251.694813356808Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
261.694813356864Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
271.694813356864__TwigTemplate_115885db683883be1d6a478e1a860cfc4f517482b0356ae8e073ed0639527fd8->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
281.696113357936Twig_Template->getAttribute( ).../572684d0d4cf6aa233e52fe4efe3c3bb1a0c4156f9e931256c1e59c5ea441b71.php:50
291.696113357976ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->getPhotoList( ).../Template.php:613
301.696213359104ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->findBy( ).../ArticleDAO.php:1101
311.832213386536Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../ArticleDAO.php:234