Work: Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that...

By localbarista - 03/08/2011 23:46 - United States

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 2 408

Work

Stop talking!

This Charming Man

Suspicious Minds

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 97

By feeling single - 28/10/2015 19:48 - United States - Burbank

Today, it's been so long since I heard from him, I had to look at my boyfriend's Facebook page to see if we're still in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 378

You deserved it 5 113

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 20:00

Today, I went to a dispensary to find relief for my chronic back pain. Turns out THC and my anxiety don't mix. I've been freaking out/paranoid/hyper diligent all night. I'm out $200, but at least thanks to my panic, I forgot my back pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 332

Not helping

By StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 151

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 544

You deserved it 12 656

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 768

You deserved it 1 843

By Honey Badger - 08/03/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 705

You deserved it 23 026

By FreakinthePink - 06/12/2010 07:20

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 107

You deserved it 3 035

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 064

You deserved it 3 331

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 06:39 - Canada

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 696

You deserved it 11 164

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 968

You deserved it 4 907

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 9 726

By HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 657

You deserved it 27 198

By ew - 27/10/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 317

You deserved it 7 826

Dogs with jobs

By Anonymous - 13/05/2016 21:11 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my family got detained by airport security thanks to one of their dogs. It didn't even bark to indicate there was something wrong, though. It just kept sniffing my dad, probably because we had our dog with us in the car on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 482

You deserved it 1 104

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 043

You deserved it 3 488

By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 15 678

Make the most of it

By Godmish - 02/01/2009 05:37 - France

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 209

You deserved it 2 681

By pizzafaceinc - 02/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 682

You deserved it 3 030

By nadette - 25/05/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 597

You deserved it 3 956

Go anyway, see the sights

By CrazedGunMan - 02/09/2020 19:01 - Panama - Panama

Today, I could finally get a plane ticket to go see the girl I have been talking to for the past 5 months. Just as I told her the exciting news, she told me that she was no longer interested in me. Guess that's 800 dollars down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 575

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 210

By megomania - 02/05/2011 13:51 - United States

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 947

You deserved it 4 417

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 5 091

By Foreigner - 01/08/2011 15:05 - Jersey

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 3 056

By tycrist8 - 26/06/2015 23:32 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 621

You deserved it 3 135

By Insensitive - 15/04/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 395

You deserved it 53 501

By stickyservice - 26/04/2014 01:21 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 179

You deserved it 3 261

By Nancy - 10/03/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 831

You deserved it 4 480

By inlovewithstupid - 04/09/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 319

You deserved it 17 264

By pinoyson - 11/10/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 833

You deserved it 12 892

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 867

You deserved it 6 762

By happybirthday - 12/08/2012 05:49 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 364

You deserved it 3 447

By Colin Jr. - 23/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 725

You deserved it 1 676

Run for the hills!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 224

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 329

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 238

You deserved it 3 606

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 05:01

Today, my aged mother continued to complain about her computer issues to me. A relative, who is good at tech support, won't bother servicing her computer because whatever she does ends up bogging it down the next day, so I have to hear about it on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 29/01/2014 21:04 - United Kingdom - Wrexham

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 168

You deserved it 18 877

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 008

You deserved it 3 280

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Shadow_Phantom 26

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:54

Wow... what an ass. FYL.

im_bored_tired 12

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:58

as kelso would yell... " BURN!!!!!"

Shadow_Phantom 26

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:54

Wow... what an ass. FYL.

JayBear14 11

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:12

That is definetly a situation you could sue or even call the police for. He was completely out of line. Fyl.

Aim4thebullseye 4

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:22

Get a tea-cosy and put it on your head, it'll help

mynameis1339 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:41

I know man, I don't understand why people like there coffee to be extremely hot! I prefer my coffee warm

VeroAnne 11

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:54

Thats when you make him a hotter cup of coffee like he asked, and then accidentally 'slip' on the wet floor from the coffee he just poured onto you, and get it all over the bastard.

juicedboi 7

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:20

And that's when you shatter the cup on his face.

Jvr91 8

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:22

Throw the coffee pot at him

atthegates 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 11:34

People like that really make the world seem like a terrible place.

UsernameIsUsed 9

Send a private message

Friday 5 August 2011 1:50

Sounds like a minimum wage job. The kind where you could clock out and beat the ever loving shit out of a customer...

thingfish 0

Send a private message

Friday 5 August 2011 1:58

Rape him.

bubbywaldo 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:54

What a bastard!

soccergurl95 8

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:56

That's when you make him an even hotter cup, throw at him, then yell "IS IT HOT ENOUGH NOW BITCH?!"

itsbritneybixchh 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:17

Hahha 4 is a total win! (:

MagicGiraffe 12

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:17

Ragequit.

SCREAM4meeee 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 16:09

have him arrested for assault.

ReptarSwag 4

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:54

what a dick

Bakayarou_fml 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:04

You apologise. You go make him a fresh one. You throw the boiling coffee in his face. Dicks deserve at least that.

ReptarSwag 4

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:08

I microwave babies.

Itsalltoomuch 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:56

You should of threw really hot coffee back at him. What a jerk

KrazyLove56 4

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:10

but then he or she would get fired

IAm1AwesomeChick 7

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 11:14

I'm not a grammar nazi but: You should have thrown* Sorry dude

Prolusive 5

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:53

Should have accidentally** thrown really hot coffee...

cameron194 9

Send a private message

Friday 5 August 2011 1:23

55, it would have been way worth it to see the look on the guys face lmao

Shadow_Phantom 26

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:57

@5: That's hilarious in theory, but then they'd probably both get arrested.

kleider1 9

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:15

Not if she uses "self defense after being assaulted with a burning liquid"

maskedman 9

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 10:29

It's not self defense if he stopped attacking her. It's just revenge.

cameron194 9

Send a private message

Friday 5 August 2011 1:25

if op doesn't chage the offender than he/she probably won't chrage op

a_nutritionist 10

Send a private message

Saturday 6 August 2011 8:01

it only works in theory. in reality youd be in shock, or extreme pain, not really thinking about getting back at the person so much as escaping the burning feeling all over your face. by the time you regained your composure long enough to want to beat several shades of shit out of the asshole, theyd be gone. all you can hope for is that someone nearby/coworker prevented them leaving and called the police.

drzhottie148 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:57

That seems hot....no? okay

Skeleton_fml 1

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:58

Sounds hot...

im_bored_tired 12

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:58

as kelso would yell... " BURN!!!!!"

batman4eva3113 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 17:54

AH!!! I LUV U!!!

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:59

Wow, what an ass... Worst part is that there's probably nothing you can do. Some people are just fucking assholes.

Pixelatedpotato 28

Send a private message

Tuesday 29 March 2016 20:02

No, that's assault and very illegal, though he might use some excuse like "uh I tripped" and somehow get away with it.

ghostychi 9

Send a private message

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:59

Oh man. What an ass. I hope he gets what's coming to him. No matter how bad a service is, it doesn't give a customer carte blanche to assault an employee.