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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50232) - you deserved it (4998)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

#21007374
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (12767)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (7974)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (4191)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56269) - you deserved it (7366)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53243) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54390) - you deserved it (6513)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (3824)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (13592)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50756) - you deserved it (26355)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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