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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48057) - you deserved it (3317)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60953) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56874) - you deserved it (5412)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57672) - you deserved it (3817)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (15675)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (9857)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62560) - you deserved it (4816)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (13935)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (62421)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56222) - you deserved it (4792)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (4441)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45571) - you deserved it (3629)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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